Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Is it possible that he DID realize that he isn't my cup of tea? Is is possible that someone in his life told him that the whole "rubbing the hand on the face thing" was probably a "showstopper"? I sure hope so. Somehow, however, I can't allow myself to believe I'm off the hook that easily.
I know that I don't really have "relationships" with these guys, so why is it that I feel like I'm breaking up with them constantly? I stress for days, then practice what I'm going to tell them, then come up with replies to the questions that I'm pretty sure they will ask ....like "why". Afterwards I retire to the bed with a cocktail. It's rough I'm telling you! It's like I break up with someone every other day. Does anyone else experience this? Or do I just care too much?
(disclaimer - I look NOTHING like this tired little pup. I just thought he was the cutest damn thing I'd ever seen, and I can relate to his exhaustion :)
Avoiding the phone,T
Monday, March 30, 2009
He is almost 20 years older than me. He simply poses the following question:
"are you miss rigth?"
Dear Sir, I am not Ms. Rigth. I'm not sure what rigth means, but I'm guessing you were going for "right". Have a nice day.
This one has obviously copied his profile and e-mailed that to me. I'm not sure where he is from....but I've not heard of it. Some excerpts from his e-mail/profile:
"I am very self sufficient in i can cook,wash clothes,clean house."
This line reminds me of a personal ad from a puppy. Haven't you seen those? Where a puppy is looking for a good home and his owner writes an ad from him. Something like "I am housebroken, love to snuggle, and will always be waiting for you by the front door when you get home". I don't know. Maybe it's just me.
"I am looking 4 my soulmate"
"I would probably take u 2 O'Charleys, as is me and my kids favortie place."
I wonder sometimes if older guys think it's clever to type like they are texting? Using the number 4, rather than spelling out for. Using the letter u, rather than spelling out you. I don't think it's clever. Not on match.com. Not in an e-mail. I think it's lazy. I also think that anyone who doesn't spell check/grammar check their profile is lazy. This is online dating. You get one chance to make a first impression. Why not do a cut/paste and run your profile through Word or something? Just a thought :)
This guy sends a nice e-mail. However, there is one line that causes me to stop cold.
"I'm what I think could be best described as a "work in progress"
Why would someone say this? I guess we are all a work in progress. To send that to someone in an e-mail though? Hmmmm......
Yikes! I don't think this needs an explanation.
"I like going to beach, party some times ,take my boat to the lake,go muding in 4-wheel drive trucks.and any thing that you think that would be fun.maybe we can be friends and then more ?"
"Wow, don't you just hate to be put on the spot and have to describe yourself and risk being missunderstood?"
"I will fight to protect what is mine. I don't give up easily."
This makes me nervous......
"I will listen to you but please listen to me and lets find equal ground. Pretty simple ehh."
What is this ehh you speak of?
All in all, a rather pitiful inbox for this online dater. It made me yawn. Perhaps Monday isn't the best day to try to cheer oneself up? Or, perhaps my match.com dating profile is "a work in progress"? It seems that I'm not doing a very good job of attracting the type of man that I want. Maybe a little re-vamp is in order?
Here's to Tuesday!
A bunch of my girlfriends flocked to the great happy hour that Efficient With Glasses found for us downtown. $2 martinis, $2 glasses of wine....are you serious? It was great! Well, mostly great. I had invited some of our guy friends to join us, but told them they wouldn't get the great happy hour specials. They were okay with that. Thinking, of course, that they could pay full price and still socialize with us. WRONG. The particular bar where this fabulous happy hour was taking place has two floors. The great drink specials were upstairs, and there was a "guard" at the bottom of the stairs assuring that NO MEN passed through. WHAT?!?!? You got it. The guys had to stay downstairs. I felt terrible, as I had spread the word that this was 'the place to be'. Thank goodness the guys forgave me :)
I was most excited to be out gossiping with my girlfriends that night though, as I have a new crush. Well, I'm not sure crush is the right word. I met him once. The next day he facebook friended me. We haven't communicated since, but I "discovered" his facebook page the other day and think I find him interesting. I texted a mutual friend of ours asking for the 411 on my new crush, but didn't hear anything back. I was a little stressed until I ran into this mutual friend Saturday night and got the low down.
More on that in Saturday's belated post!
Friday, March 27, 2009
I arrive at the Mexican restaurant about 15 minutes early. I had no idea where I was going, so I didn't want to get lost. I'm on the phone with my friend (and date for Saturday night's Republican fundraiser) TWW. TWW and I are making plans, and discussing the fabulosity of the evening when 7:15 arrives. You may remember TWW from a previous post about chickpeas and such found HERE. I tell TWW that I have to go, and step out into the rain. Blech! My hair isn't looking it's best, but overall I feel good about my outfit. I'm excited to see Lehrer again, and to figure out what it is about his mouth that bothers me. I'm also excited because this is the first time I have actually been looking forward to a second date with someone from match.com. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!??!!
Apparently Lehrer is running a bit late, so I sit on the bench right inside the restaurant and wait. About 5 minutes later he arrives. I stand up, smile and say hello. He wraps his arms around me in a bear hug. This would be sign #1. Remember Liz H. Kelly's advice about following your GUT, and looking for "showstoppers" I wrote about HERE? Well, my GUT was telling Lehrer to back off.
***Side Note - I'm not a touchy feely person. I've talked before about the fact that I don't like to kiss people before I've decided I really like them, and I certainly don't hold their hands or have bear hugs with them. I mean I really don't even know this character! What gives?
Lehrer and I are seated and begin talking. It's kindove awkward at first, but things get a little better. I'm realizing that I don't find him the slightest bit attractive. I'm not sure what I was thinking on Sunday. The thought of kissing him really makes me want to vom. Was it just the over exuberant bear hug that set me off? I'm contemplating this, when the REAL FUN begins. Get ready friends. This is bad. I mean B-A-D!
Lehrer takes my hand in his and starts rubbing it. Then, he leans in and attempts to rub my hand on his face. OH YES. He really did. (showstopper #2) I know that I must have had a startled look on my face, but that doesn't deter him. I snatch my hand away and explain to him that I'm not a touchy person, and that I don't like to be "physical" with people when I first meet them. Do you know what he says? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS?!?!?!?! He proceeds to tell me that I just haven't been with the right man yet. WHAT? I thought I was going to pass out. Real people don't say this. Do they? Well, apparently they do. (showstopper #3)
The night went downhill from there. Why the heck didn't I just jump up and leave? Why didn't I let a showstopper be an actual showstopper, and listen to my GUT? Good question. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer :( I continue to listen to him talk, and somehow we end up on the subject of what we do on the weekends for fun. I'm very social, and usually have a cocktail party or event to attend. I'm waiting for him to tell me that he does the same type of thing....or....that he would find that fun. Oh no. Not a chance. HE likes to "study" or "play Peanuckle". You think I'm kidding? Nope! AND...he's not even in school. So what the heck is he studying you want to know? I want to know too, so I ask. Apparently he studies math, statistics, WWII, etc. Like real studying. Things that cause you to go to the library to do research and stuff. I can't help myself here. I have to ask. It goes something like this:
T: So...ummm....WHY exactly do you study this stuff?
L: I find it interesting. I can't stand to not know something.
T: But seriously. You do this on a Friday night at home by yourself?
L (while looking like this is completely normal and he can't understand why in the world I would question it): Yes
L: I'm not a geek or anything though.
L: You sound like you go out and drink a lot.
T: Well. Compared to you, I guess I do.
It's bad. I don't know what else to say. I launch into some discussion about an upcoming steeplechase I am attending, and then rattle on about a polo cup I am going to. He breaks in and says that I probably need a date for those things. Don't I? I tell him that I am looking for someone who also finds these things interesting. That's kindove a necessity for Mr. Seersucker. I'm hoping this tells him that he is NEVER going to be Mr. Seersucker. Nope!
Lehrer says that he would probably go to one such thing a year. Then, he proceeds to make fun of seersucker, big hats, the Kentucky Derby. Uggggghhhh!!! Back off you idiot! These are all of the things I love, and you are making fun of them!!!!
He then says he would like to have me come to his house to watch a move. THAT NIGHT! Jesus. Someone please just put me out of my misery.
I packed up my purse and said I was tired and ready to go. He walks me to my car. He says that a friend from Germany will be in for 2 weeks, and wouldn't I bring some friends out and we could all hang out. I say "whatever. call me". I just can't bring myself to tell him to get lost at that point because I am too exhausted.
How is it that people who seem perfectly normal at first turn out to be such weirdos? Is it them? Or...is it me?
Looking forward to happy hour,
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Because I think he is really nice, and because I want to respect his privacy, I'm not going to go into much detail about him. What I will tell you is that he's a very interesting GENTLEMAN (read=he has manners which is so refreshing after Lehrer), and I thoroughly enjoyed meeting him. We met for coffee, and I dare say we talked non-stop for 2-1/2 hours! I'm kindove a motor mouth, and I admit it. However, I found my friend to be so interesting I just kept asking him questions and listening to what he had to say.
Due to the fact that I found him so interesting, I wasn't really paying attention to our surroundings. At one point, my friend was trying to tell me a story that I was very interested in. I was listening intently when I realized that somewhere close to me there was a person yelling out "And Jesus said...and then Isaiah came down....and the Lord did this...and the Lord did that". My friend and I both just looked at each other and cracked up :) It wasn't like someone was preaching out on a street corner. We were in an establishment where people sit down to eat, drink, whatever. He was so freaking loud that we (while sitting right next to each other) couldn't even hear each other. We decided to move.
We talked more, AND THEN, another freak materialized. He was sitting next to us and was reading a newspaper. Then, he proceeds to get into an argument with said newspaper. Seriously. My friend and I both turned to look at him, and gaped. Obviously this poor man needs to dial back the crazy ASAP! Crazy left, and my friend and I continued to chat until we realized how late it was. We both decided it was time to head home.
I am so glad that my friend (yes, I know...he still doesn't have a name) and I decided to meet. What an interesting start to a friendship, huh? I'm just really glad that he didn't think I was an arse, and that he helped me to realize that when you put your life out on the internet people are going to read it. I mean, I knew that...but you know.....
I decided that I would call him after work on Wednesday, but before I met my friend for the first time :) I would tell him I had somewhere to be, so that would limit the amount of time we were on the phone. He isn't a very good phone talker. He has lots of pauses, and it makes me sleepy. Also, he has this really, really, really strong northern accent that kindove gives me a headache.
I called Lehrer back on my way home from work on Wednesday and he was on the other line. He asked if he could call me back in a bit. I said that I actually had plans, so he had about 10 minutes in which to catch me. He called me back in about 45 seconds. That's a good sign:)
Lehrer wants to chat. I tell him I'm not much of a phone talker. Actually, I hate talking on the phone. I do it all day, and tend to shut my phone off when I get home. I cut to the chase "So, do you still want to get together tomorrow night?". He says he does. I say "Great. What do you want to do." Because really...he needs to take charge here. If I am going to have to open my own doors and such, he can be the planner. Well...guess what...he asks if I like Mexican (which I love), and then proceeds to suggest a Mexican restaurant that is right near his house. ON THE COMPLETE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN FROM ME! Geezzzz. His parents surely didn't teach him any manners did they? AND...I do believe that this is most certainly why the guy is still single. Whatever. I'm driving to the other side of town for dinner tonight. With Lehrer. I forewarned him that I LOVE MEXICAN, and that I will eat two baskets of chips on my own and also a Speedy Gonzales. I told him that I was NOT the type of girl that eats 3 bites of a salad because she is in front of a man. He laughed and thought that was funny. I was being serious. And what the heck? If he's going to be tacky, I will be too. This could be fun!
I reported the results of this call to my girlfriend Daisey, and she was equally appalled. She suggested I call Lehrer this afternoon to tell him that I had been held up at work. She then suggested I should tell him to drive his arse over to my side of town to make it easier for me to get there on time. I'm not going to do that, and I will tell you why. It's simple really. When I decide that I no longer want to go out with Lehrer I will have many, many tidbits in my basket of reasons to share with him. I will tell him that he is very nice, but that I am looking for a gentleman and that he really isn't one. I will smile sweetly, twist my hair and look at my shoe while telling him this. I will make him understand that it isn't his fault. It's just that I am from THE SOUTH, and manners are very important to me. I will also find a way to suggest that on future dates he treat a lady like a lady, and then he might have better success.
Hello friends. I'm FINALLY back from posting random blurbs, and am ready to give you my dating updates.
Let me take you back to Sunday, and my date with Lehrer. We are meeting at Barnes & Noble at 3pm. Remember? I'm a member of this PJ Brunch Club (yes, we really all show up for brunch at each other's homes in our PJs), and had rushed home to change for my date. It was a rather warm day....so I wore a navy shift dress, gold sandals, a long string of pears and a little yellow cardigan. I arrived right on time and entered Barnes & Noble looking around for the coffee shop. I assumed this would be where we would meet, as Lehrer hadn't really given me any specifics (ie. meet me in the science fiction section). I looked around and saw the coffee shop. As I headed that way I saw this somewhat familiar face standing in the coffee shop smiling at me. This familiar face was also wearing a neck brace. It took a minute to register, but then I realized who it was! One of my ex boyfriend's best friends. I adore this friend (who we shall call Neck Brace) and broke out in a big smile myself.
Of course I asked Neck Brace what had happened, and he informed me he had broken his neck.....AGAIN. Yes, that's right. This is the second time! Can you imagine?!?!?! He's so very lucky to be alive and walking. I momentarily forgot about Lehrer and asked for the details. Neck Brace proceeds to give me a recap of a bachelor weekend full of drinking, dancing and mechanical bulls. The mechanical bull being the cause of his current condition. I was laughing and having a lovely time when I remembered about Lehrer! I told Neck Brace that I was supposed to be meeting someone. Our conversation went something like this:
NB: Do you see him?
T: I don't know.
NB: What do you mean you don't know?
T: Well....okay....here's the thing.....I'm on match.com :)
NB: What? Are you serious?
T: Yes. Don't laugh at me please.
NB: Well, what do you think he looks like?
T: Ummmm, tall, brown hair. That's really all I know.
NB: Could that be him? The guy in the corner with the hat?
T: No. That doesn't look like him at all.
NB: It's 3:10. Maybe he didn't come?
NB: Wait! There is this tall brown haired guy over by the front door who is looking at his phone.
T: Don't stare! I'm going to turn around. Hmmm...could be him. I'm just going to walk up and ask him if he's called Lehrer.
NB: Okay. If it isn't and you feel stupid I'll be here and you can come back and have a coffee with me.
It was Lehrer! I told him all about Neck Brace, and how I had to hear the story and wasn't sure where we were meeting and so on. Lehrer says he thought I might be me, but then I was talking with a guy, so he though perhaps not? Anyway, Lehrer says it's a beautiful day and what would I like to do. WHAT?!?!? I thought we were going to sit at B&N and have coffee.
***Side Note - I don't drink coffee. Everyone is always trying to have a coffee with me, but I don't drink it. I always say yes, and then get a hot chocolate:)
I tell Lehrer that I thought we would be staying at B&N and therefore hadn't really worn clothes to really "do anything" in. He says that there is a Buffalo Wild Wings in the mall that B&N is in, and that we could go there. Ick. I don't like BWW. It's dark and loud and full of TVs playing sports :( I say okay.
On the walk down to BWW Lehrer tells me that he is pleasantly surprised by me. He thinks I'm pretty, and says I seem very nice and normal. Wow. I guess he's had some bad dates? (I'm rather pleased with him too. He's a bit shorter that he stated, but still taller than me. His "bad hair" has been remedied and he's pretty cute.) He proceeds to tell me that he always suggests meeting at B&N so that if the girl is awful he can have a coffee with her and then say goodbye. I guess that's pretty smart of him. I usually end up getting stuck with someone for drinks and want to slit my wrist about 20 minutes into it.
So far so good. And then....we get to BWW and he opens the front door.....and walks in! HE DOESN'T HOLD THE DOOR FOR ME. Most of the men I know, or come in contact with, just do that naturally. They always hold doors open for me (and other women). I was kindove shocked and reached forward to grab the door so that it didn't slam in my face.
Then, when the hostess says "follow me"....HE DOES! He doesn't step aside and let me go first. Hmmmmm.....this is very interesting. I've never come across such a thing. He sits down first. He orders first. I'm not sure how I feel about this? Perhaps this is why he is 43 and has never been married? Needless to say my impression of him is not so good at this point.
Things get better though, and we end up talking for 3 HOURS!! I went to the restroom and glanced at my watch. 6:00! Yikes. I have stuff to do. So, I tell him that I've had a lovely time but really do need to be heading home as it's 6:00. He seems surprised as well.
***Side Note - Lehrer is a raging liberal and tries to speak to me about politics. I cut him off by saying "Look here Lehrer...you are not going to sway me, and I am not going to sway you. Let's just not speak about politics today, or I can assure you there will never be a second date".
Lehrer walks me to my car and asks if we can get together again. I say that I would like to go out with him again, and I mean it. Lehrer will never be my serious boyfriend because he has no manners, but he's cute and would be an acceptable date to functions and such. I will just have to be sure to explain to him that he needs to open my door, let me sit first, etc. before I take him anywhere. Otherwise, my friends would probably be appalled and wonder what in the world I was thinking to be out with someone so rude!
Lehrer wants to go out Saturday night. I tell him that I am not free Saturday night. I explain that I am attending a dinner that is a Republican fundraiser, and I am a sponsor of the event. I have a table and everything, and it's going to be really fun. I tell him this because I want him to know that I enjoy doing such things, and I want to see if he thinks this type of thing is fun as well. Unfortunately, he replies by telling me that I shouldn't be giving me money to the Republicans, and that I should do this, that and the other with it. I give him the "stink eye" and tell him that I am not free Saturday and to lay off telling me what I should and shouldn't do. Because seriously...he's fed me some boneless chicken wings and some diet cokes and that certainly doesn't amount to him having any input on my life!
Lehrer asks about Thursday night. I say I'm free, and that he should call me to schedule something. I drive away a bit perplexed, but quite energized. I am always exhausted after first dates, and this time I'm not. I believe Lehrer has as much energy as I do, and is quite talkative. Therefore, I didn't have to lead the conversation and that was nice.
I'm really not sure that I can give a full on assessment until our second date, but I do know that there is something weird about his mouth. I will have to stare at him more on date 2 to figure out what it is.
Does your blog need a free make over? If so, visit Danielle at Well, That's Just Fabulous to enter!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
You are a Director
As a DIRECTOR, you combine an unusual openness and passion for beauty and style with confidence and a down-to-earth sensibility that allow you to realize your vision.
You are practical and pay attention to the details that others tend to miss.
By focusing on what is real and concrete, you achieve more than those who always have their heads in the clouds.
When it comes to what really matters in your life, you are confident in your ability to succeed.
Having beautiful things in your life gives you pleasure and satisfaction - you have a keen eye for style.
Even when problems present themselves, deep down you know you will overcome these challenges.
When routines get too familiar, you become bored and start looking for ways to spice things up.
You are open to new types of experiences – you are not afraid to take a risk on something new.
You have a highly developed sense of taste – you know what looks good on you, in your home, and in the world at large.
Your independent streak allows you to make decisions efficiently and to trust your instincts
You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.
You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.
You are a fashion maven, up on trends, but distinct in your own style. You don't follow trends, you set them.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.
If you want to be different:
Occasionally let yourself dream a little more, even if it doesn't seem practical or efficient.
You are Dynamic
As someone who is DYNAMIC, you do not have a hard time meeting new people, and you have a bunch of close friends.
You are not overly concerned with what others may think about you, which leaves you free to be thoroughly involved in the world around you.
There are those who find being around people exhausting—but not you! Interacting with others, whether at a party or in conversation, gives you energy.
You have a strong sense of what the world is like and how it should be.
You have enormous respect for those who have earned their success, and have little patience for those who try to bend the rules or ride on the coattails of others' hard work.
Believing in the importance of integrity and hard work doesn't stop you from believing that people will do the right thing—you know that people are good at heart.
You sometimes have trouble understanding why others feel the way they do, but it doesn't stop you from having faith and trust in those around you.
Part of what makes engaging with people so interesting for you is that you occasionally learn something new about yourself or about a problem you're having when discussing things with others.
Your strong worldview leads you to believe that people shouldn't rely on their emotions so much when making decisions.
If you want to be different:
Taking some time to explore others' perspectives could make spending time with people even more compelling than it already is.
Making an effort to see the complexities of situations might open your eyes to alternative perspectives of how the world works.
Those who are as outgoing as you are often need to remind themselves that time alone can be just as fulfilling—take some time for yourself and you might find that there are many things in your inner world that are just as compelling as the world outside your window.
WHAT ARE YOU???? FIND OUT HERE.
I do not want to wait until May when it is released. I want it now :(
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Oh-My-God. This site is fabulous. Really. They even send you e-mails so that you know when to log in to look for the sale taking place in the botique you want. Really. Bottega Veneta sold out before I realized it was open. Blasted! I've signed up for e-mails for the upcoming botique sales. Really. It's good stuff.
Leave me a post with your e-mail addy if you want an invite. I'll send one along ASAP.
Seriously. You either are. Or, you aren't. If you need to consult a blog poll to see what the preppiest casual shoe is, you don't need to be wearing them. It's either your look, or it isn't. If it isn't...don't try it. Seriously. It won't fit.
P.S. My computer is STILL screwed up and I'm getting grumpy. Can you tell :)
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
WIMP stopped by the office yesterday and suggested drinks after work. A few more friends decided to join us, and drinks turned into dinner. We were just chatting away and it was pretty late when I left. I checked my cell and saw that I had a missed call from a number I didn't recognize. Lehrer left a charming message, but it was too late to call him back :(
Tonight I've got a 3 year old's birthday party to attend, but how long can that last? It starts at 6pm, so I'm thinking I will have time to return his call this evening. Can't wait to share the details.
On another note, it looks like my friend and I are finally going to meet. You know, the gentleman that found my blog and called me out on it? We have been corresponding, and have decided that meeting for a drink or something would most likely be enjoyable. We both have very busy schedules, but I'm definitely going to clear some time to meet him because he seems quite interesting!
The sun is out, I'm leaving work early for a reflexology session and I have two very interesting gentlemen to meet in the near future. Wahoo! Life is good.
Have a lovely weekend friends!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Now, I know to many of you this is probably a daily occurrence. Not for moi! This is my very first prize, and I am going to treasure it. Thank you so very much Burlap Condoms!!
Here is my prize (oops! it's an award not a prize):
Isn't it lovely? Okay, okay I'm going to quit gloating and pass it on!
“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and beI am tagging the following bloggers. Thanks to each of you for making my work day much more enjoyable :)
friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when
the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated.
Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight
bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into
the body of their award.”
All Things Melia - A cheerful blog about everything! Well, mostly cheerful. She does get pissy every now and again...hahaha....This is one of the first blogs I read every day :)
Where is My Purse? - The name just about covers it. I guarantee you will laugh out loud!
An American Girl in London - A fabulously fun read for anyone who has ever lived abroad, or aspires to do so. It's amazing how different things are "across the pond".
Nautical by Nature - I was born and raised right next door to the ocean. Now I'm a bit more land locked. I visit this blog every day to enjoy all things nautical, and to find some really great bargains too! Check out the "coupon codes, giveaways, and sales!" posted daily.
Sippycups ARE for Chardonnay - This blogger has AMAZING taste. She lets us in to her home to see all of the fabulous decorating projects she is working on or has completed, what new adventures she and her lovely family are having, and has made me realize that you really can have it all :)
CLEMSON GIRL AND THE COACH - When I read this blog, I wish I lived in Atlanta. I wish I knew this woman. She is so real, funny, kind, brutally honest, ....well, I could go on. All in all I adore her blog. P.S. I've stolen your word..."snarky". I use it daily :)
mindless musings on my average life - I randomly found this blog one day, and had to stay late after work to read the entire thing. Seriously. Beginning to end. Average life my behind! Amazing woman. Amazing life. Amazing taste. Amazing boy she is getting ready to marry. A must read for sure :)
Crawling Across Virginia - I know one of these "crawlers", and at first thought she was embarking on a bar crawl of sorts. After quickly clearing that up I am enjoying following her progress. Although this is a new blog, I am already chuckling as I watch Kait and Smithers try to conquer the state of Virginia. Keep it up!
Now I'm off to Wal-Mart....AND YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT WAL-MART. Go ahead and shoot me now.
Monday, March 16, 2009
The teacher gets right down to it! He says hello. Tells me he hopes the engagement party is going smashingly (as he sent the e-mail at the time the festivities were in full swing), and then says we should probably talk on the phone. Excellent communication skills. He says that he thinks we would have a great conversation. (Why thank you Lehrer. So much more eloquently stated that our poor friend G.I. Joe).
AND FINALLY...I wrote my friend back. The friend that found my blog, and I wrote him an apology and he wrote back. Well, I finally wrote him back. I couldn't think of anything wonderful to say...so I just wrote a boring old e-mail. I just wanted to be sure to write something, so he didn't think I had gone missing. Not that I really expect that he wants to meet me at this point, but as my friend Daisy says..."You never know. It could end up like a scene from Bridget Jones Diary and you marry the guy". (Kate also has a vote in for him! Not so much because you guys even know anything more about him, since I'm being rather undercover and such, but her vote is mostly because she thinks it would make a swell story.) Well, I don't know about all that, but I sent him a note back and we shall see if he replies :)
Hmmmmmm....(have you ever noticed that if my description starts with a hmmmm....it doesn't end up going very well?) Well, that is the case here. This young man has a picture of himself posted that is so far away we can't really tell much about him other than the fact that he is wearing khakis and a black shirt/jacket/fleece??? He is only 5'8", which makes him exactly my height. He also has 2 children that live at home, and has never been married. Translation = I have the kids all the time. Eeekkks! Finally, his profile says he's "look'n to be friendly with someone" and that he is "quit at first but I do open up soon". I think you can now relate to my "hmmmmmmmmm". Goodbye Match #1.
First, MK's engagement party was Saturday night and it was a HUGE success! The weather was a bit icky, but inside the house there was a festive atmosphere that rivaled any I've experienced before. Isn't it lovely when friends and family come together to celebrate a special couple that they adore? I think so.
I made a collage of pictures of MK her and fiance from waaaaayyyy back in the day up to present time (they've been together for almost 10 years, so that's a lot of pictures). My girlfriend Where Is My Purse? (further referred to as WIMP) brought an easel she had at the house and we displayed the collage for all of the party guests to enjoy. Also, because MK adores all things Tuscan in nature, we attempted to have a Tuscan Themed party. I'm not sure we succeeded, but the food was great and I thought the house looked lovely :)
I spent most of Sunday in the bed watching The Hallmark Channel while recouping. When I finally did get up, I decided to test out my "IT Works! Ultimate Body Applicators" that arrived in Friday afternoon. "What in the heck is she thinking spending $89 on some such crap?" you may be thinking. Simmer down now. I really think this is legit. MK, WIMP and I were at a ladies luncheon not too long ago when we came across some ladies selling these patches. They wanted me to host a party at my home so that we could see the patches working right in front of our eyes! We all loved the idea, and I gave the ladies my telephone number. Alas, they never called. This made me somewhat suspicious, but I did a little research and it seems like there might be something to these patches. So, I ordered them on my own. I purchased 4 applicators for $89.
Fast forward to last night. I followed the directions (somewhat) and put one applicator each on my thighs, one on my stomach and finally one on my buttocks/lower back. Mind you, I was supposed to hold each applicator securely in place with an ACE bandage. Unfortunately, I only own 2 ACE bandages and wanted to adhere all applicators at the same time. I found a pair of grey biker shorts and pulled those up over my thigh applicators. Then, I wrapped my mid section securely with 2 ACE bandages and plopped down on the couch. In about 5 minutes the most interesting feeling ever came over me. It was like I my entire body had been dipped into a tub of Icy Hot. It wasn't unbearable or anything, but a bit uncomfortable none the less.
I had been sure to measure my thigh in 3 places, my stomach and my butt/hips before applying the applicators. They say that something like 90% of the process takes place in the first 45 minutes, so after that you can leave them on as long as you like. I left mine on for about another hour and 15 minutes. Imagine my excitement when I peeled off the applicators, rubbed in the extra lotion and broke out the tape measure. Imagine my depression when my thighs measured 2 inches LARGER than they did when I started. Surely I messed up somewhere along the way, because my little belly pooch is gonzo, AND...my jeans are looser in the thighs than they were previously. Coincidence? I think not. I ordered 2 more boxes of the applicators this morning :)
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Okay, updates on what is going on. I know things have been a bit sporadic, but I'm hosting an engagement party for MK and her fiance this weekend and I've been quite busy getting everything ready. I would tell you all of the fun things we've been working on...but MK reads my blog and I don't want her to know about it yet!!
My Match.com inbox has been very neglected, and correspondence on my part has been terribly delayed. I have not even replied to any of my matches that wrote me back on Monday. Isn't that terribly rude of me? Yes, it is. I know :( I really want to write back to them, but have only just now logged in and guess what.....I have an event to attend in 20 minutes! Arrrrrghhhh! The thing is...I don't want to just write back some totally lame, non-thought out response. I want to peruse their bios again, think of some interesting questions, etc. That might sound like an excuse, but it's legit. Pinky swear.
So, in a nutshell.....this is a wasted post because I have nothing new to share. Many of my nearest and dearest have e-mailed to say "date this weekend? what's the latest with your matches?". Sorry girls. I've been negligent, and therefore have no dates scheduled. I am going to work VERY HARD to change that, and hopefully will have some time tomorrow during work (shhhhhhh........) to get caught up.
Okay, there is a new match who has winked at me. Yeeeeeaaaa...no. He lives far, far away and is really old. What gives with the influx of Father Abrahams these days? Perhaps I need to re-adjust my age requirements? Nah. Nobody seems to read those anyway. I will just press the little "x" next to him and say goodbye.
****Side Note - I have not even checked my Daily 5 in a week. I was seriously so disappointed in what Match.com suggested for me that I have decided I will only have a peek at these if I need a really good laugh :)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Man of Few Words
First...this match shall be called....well...never mind. I've only winked at him (yesterday), and he's only just now sent a one-liner of an e-mail. I don't know enough about him to name him. I will remind you that he is a match from yesterday. He's the firefighter that is a one year older than me, and lives about 45 minutes away. Here we go...we shall call him "Man of Few Words" because he professes that he is.
He has e-mailed to tell me that he hopes I am enjoying the lovely weather. I sure am! I will e-mail him back after I finish my update here and ask him some questions. Perhaps with a little prompting we will learn something about him :)
****Side Note- This deserves it's own side note :) So, the match that I told you about last week that found my blog and e-mailed me...remember him? I e-mailed him to apologize? Well, he's e-mailed me a nice note in return. I'm not going to share anything about that with you today friends. I know you understand. However, I might just call you and fill you in!
That's it for today. My tongue is feeling less swollen today, as I iced it all evening yesterday. Believe me...icing your tongue is NOT a pleasant experience :( It's still hanging a bit out of my mouth, as it isn't sure where to go since it's twice it's normal size.
Let's see what we've got today shall we?
LONG POST ALERT!! LONG POST ALERT!!! LONG POST ALERT!!
***Side Note - I'm not really able to say Match #1 and so on because some of the guys are from many, many blogs ago. Let's see. Perhaps I will try to refresh your memory as I go through them. There are a few new matches, so we will start with them:
Wow. I don't think I've ever come across anyone who is any less a match for me. He states that he is looking for a "classy lady". I wonder why? From his multiple pictures I can confirm that he isn't very classy. That's fine. Just wondering why he wants a classy lady? Chances are she's not going to be looking for him. He drives a 911. Perhaps he thinks that makes him classy? Anyway, I'm not going to wink back because he is 50 years old, and lives 3 hours away...among other reasons.
Although this guy looks like he's probably pretty nice, I find it interesting that 1/2 of his profile pictures are of parrots. After reading further I find that he has 10. He loves them. They are his family. This is actually the second match I've had on Match.com who loved his parrots very much. Here's the thing. I can't stand birds. I don't like them outside of my window tweeting and waking me up in the morning. I don't like them pooping on my car. AND...I really don't like them inside. My mother has this Love Bird called Katie Scarlet. She seriously treats this bird like her child. She talks to it always, and when I am visiting I have to do things that will make Katie Scarlet happy. If I upset Katie Scarlet in any way, then I am at fault. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! It's a bird! A silly bird that whistles at itself in the mirror because it thinks there is another bird there. It's flirting with itself because it's too dumb to realize that it's look at itself.
Sorry, didn't mean to rant about the whole bird issue....but dating someone with 10 parrots isn't really going to work for me. There is no chance that he is getting rid of these parrots, because he says "Since I love my birds, I hope the lady I meet, loves tropical birds..." Not me buddy. Sorry. You actually have a whole lot going for you. I just can't tolerate the birds. Sorry.
Oh my word. This is good. I mean REALLY good. I laughed out loud. You will too. Here's the thing. This guy looks totally normal, and so I start clicking and reading and then I had to take off my glasses to get close to the computer screen to see if I was really reading what I thought I was reading. I was. I'm not sure if he's trying to be funny, or if he is trying to be serious and it's funny. What do you think?
Well, I've now hit an all time low my friends. Actually, I guess it's an all time high. I've been winked at by a 60 year old man. He looks really precious....in that grandfather-type way that makes you want him to buy you a double scoop of ice cream. Not so much take you to dinner and try to date you.
Speaking of giveaways, I don't usually enter. I'm not one to just enter for the sake of entering. I did enter one, but I didn't win. That's okay! I still went ahead and ordered the prize for myself because I really did like it :)
I'm posting today about giveaways because I've found another that I'd love to win! Sweetpea over at Horse, Hound and Home is giving away the Marina Knot Magnetic Cosmetic Case from Toss Designs. I adore it. I surely hope I win, but if not...I will probably end up purchasing it myself anyway. You must visit Horse, Hound and Home to enter to win yourself!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Don't you find that writing things down often makes them clearer? When I try to figure it all out in my head it sometimes gets jumbled. When I write it down the answer is usually staring me directly in the eyes!
Well, this is kindove a repeat. I described this match to you earlier in this post. He winked, I winked...now he's e-mailed. As I explained earlier...sending the first e-mail is usually quite difficult. Some people are pretty good at coming up with witty, clever things to say. Some aren't. Doesn't mean they aren't witty & clever, just a little awkward when it comes to writing that first e-mail. I completely understand :)
So, Match #4 (AKA Match #1 in previous e-mail) sends a brief e-mail saying hi, and that he would love to chat. I'm going to e-mail him back as soon as I finish this post. Looks like I'm in the hot seat now, and have to come up with something witty & clever to say. Hmmmm....
Now this match is definitely what I'm looking for!!! Yay. I'm very excited :) He's 6'0", a teacher/professor with a Graduate degree, he's been to Europe numerous times (yay! me too!), he lives right in Smalltown, VA, he's never been married...AND...he's a few years older than me. Wow! He sounds too good to be true! He's also "not sure" about kids. Me too! Yay. Okay, he's e-mailed me and said that he's viewed my profile and thinks that we have a lot in common. I'LL SAY! Alrighty then...I'm off to e-mail him.
Not too bad for a Monday! I've winked back at one match, and am sending off e-mails to two. So nice to see this day turning around. It started off rather poorly, as I bit my tongue severely at lunch. I had to ask MK to look at it to see whether or not I needed stitches. She said she wasn't sure! It was the worst "tongue bite" she had ever seen, and I was gushing blood from the wound :( I called my family physician and was instructed to apply direct pressure for 15 minutes, and then to ice the wound. It had finally stopped bleeding, but is quite sore. Boo hiss! Thank heavens this day is looking up!
I've got a few more matches to tell you about, but I'm starting another new entry because this one is getting a bit long!
I took Kate's advice (thanks Kate!), and changed my Match.com login. My girlfriend Daisy and I came up with a name that was fitting, and then googled the heck out of it to make sure that it NEVER pulled up my blog. It didn't. Thank heavens!
There is going to be a small adjustment to my blog though. I am ONLY going to focus on the positives of those people I may want to go out with. I'm really sorry that I screwed up with a certain gentleman, but again...lesson learned. If, however, someone messages me about wanting to dance the night away, having unbridled sex and never meet my friends or family I am going to feel free to tell you all about it :)
By the way.....I sent the gentleman who found my blog, and messaged me about his displeasure upon finding it, an apology. I know it won't make a difference, but I felt I owed him at least that. I felt better after sending it. Not absolved of all sins, but better.