Friday, March 27, 2009

"I Enjoy Studying Math on Friday Nights"

My date last night with Lehrer. Wow. Where to start? Let me begin by saying that I have called for full on happy hour with the girls tonight. It is needed. Believe me! Cheers to Efficient With Glasses, one of my girlfriends, who discovered a monumental ladies happy hour deal for us at a local bar. I am counting down the minutes, and unfortunately have a feeling that I am going to tie one on tonight. Oopsies!

I arrive at the Mexican restaurant about 15 minutes early. I had no idea where I was going, so I didn't want to get lost. I'm on the phone with my friend (and date for Saturday night's Republican fundraiser) TWW. TWW and I are making plans, and discussing the fabulosity of the evening when 7:15 arrives. You may remember TWW from a previous post about chickpeas and such found HERE. I tell TWW that I have to go, and step out into the rain. Blech! My hair isn't looking it's best, but overall I feel good about my outfit. I'm excited to see Lehrer again, and to figure out what it is about his mouth that bothers me. I'm also excited because this is the first time I have actually been looking forward to a second date with someone from match.com. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!??!!

Apparently Lehrer is running a bit late, so I sit on the bench right inside the restaurant and wait. About 5 minutes later he arrives. I stand up, smile and say hello. He wraps his arms around me in a bear hug. This would be sign #1. Remember Liz H. Kelly's advice about following your GUT, and looking for "showstoppers" I wrote about HERE? Well, my GUT was telling Lehrer to back off.

***Side Note - I'm not a touchy feely person. I've talked before about the fact that I don't like to kiss people before I've decided I really like them, and I certainly don't hold their hands or have bear hugs with them. I mean I really don't even know this character! What gives?

Lehrer and I are seated and begin talking. It's kindove awkward at first, but things get a little better. I'm realizing that I don't find him the slightest bit attractive. I'm not sure what I was thinking on Sunday. The thought of kissing him really makes me want to vom. Was it just the over exuberant bear hug that set me off? I'm contemplating this, when the REAL FUN begins. Get ready friends. This is bad. I mean B-A-D!

Lehrer takes my hand in his and starts rubbing it. Then, he leans in and attempts to rub my hand on his face. OH YES. He really did. (showstopper #2) I know that I must have had a startled look on my face, but that doesn't deter him. I snatch my hand away and explain to him that I'm not a touchy person, and that I don't like to be "physical" with people when I first meet them. Do you know what he says? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS?!?!?!?! He proceeds to tell me that I just haven't been with the right man yet. WHAT? I thought I was going to pass out. Real people don't say this. Do they? Well, apparently they do. (showstopper #3)

The night went downhill from there. Why the heck didn't I just jump up and leave? Why didn't I let a showstopper be an actual showstopper, and listen to my GUT? Good question. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer :( I continue to listen to him talk, and somehow we end up on the subject of what we do on the weekends for fun. I'm very social, and usually have a cocktail party or event to attend. I'm waiting for him to tell me that he does the same type of thing....or....that he would find that fun. Oh no. Not a chance. HE likes to "study" or "play Peanuckle". You think I'm kidding? Nope! AND...he's not even in school. So what the heck is he studying you want to know? I want to know too, so I ask. Apparently he studies math, statistics, WWII, etc. Like real studying. Things that cause you to go to the library to do research and stuff. I can't help myself here. I have to ask. It goes something like this:

T: So...ummm....WHY exactly do you study this stuff?
L: I find it interesting. I can't stand to not know something.
T: But seriously. You do this on a Friday night at home by yourself?
L (while looking like this is completely normal and he can't understand why in the world I would question it): Yes
T: Oh.
L: I'm not a geek or anything though.
T: Okay.
L: You sound like you go out and drink a lot.
T: Well. Compared to you, I guess I do.

It's bad. I don't know what else to say. I launch into some discussion about an upcoming steeplechase I am attending, and then rattle on about a polo cup I am going to. He breaks in and says that I probably need a date for those things. Don't I? I tell him that I am looking for someone who also finds these things interesting. That's kindove a necessity for Mr. Seersucker. I'm hoping this tells him that he is NEVER going to be Mr. Seersucker. Nope!

Lehrer says that he would probably go to one such thing a year. Then, he proceeds to make fun of seersucker, big hats, the Kentucky Derby. Uggggghhhh!!! Back off you idiot! These are all of the things I love, and you are making fun of them!!!!

He then says he would like to have me come to his house to watch a move. THAT NIGHT! Jesus. Someone please just put me out of my misery.

I packed up my purse and said I was tired and ready to go. He walks me to my car. He says that a friend from Germany will be in for 2 weeks, and wouldn't I bring some friends out and we could all hang out. I say "whatever. call me". I just can't bring myself to tell him to get lost at that point because I am too exhausted.

How is it that people who seem perfectly normal at first turn out to be such weirdos? Is it them? Or...is it me?

Looking forward to happy hour,

T

5 comments:

Jami said...

Oh mercy! I'm surprised you made it THAT long!

Great read. Looking forward to more :)

Good luck on your hunt.

Kate said...

He sounds like a total weirdo. I just can't believe he thought you might want to hang out after or in the future. Couldn't he tell it was going badly??

wendy said...

Oh no! That's one for the books!

And why is it that the guy NEVER picks up on the fact that you're miserable?

I probably wouldn't have left early either... I suffer from extreme politeness.

Desperately Seeking Seersucker said...

Kate...sadly enough...I think he is under the impression that the date was a smashing success. Ugghh!

Wendy...isn't that the truth!!! Why can't they tell how miserable we are? OR...do they know, and just keep at it thinking sooner or later we will cave and agree to another date? Due to our extreme politeness, of course :)

Missouri Musings said...

The face thing is a whole new level of creepy, even for match.com. Though I must admit, it did have me laughing aloud!

Don't guys get that it is really rude to make fun of things you like after you've told them you like those things? I mean, if he didn't know you were into pastel dresses, horse races and big hats and made fun of them, that would just be awkward and "oops, didn't know." But he knew and made fun of it? That's just rude. And who DOESN'T like the derby?!?! Loser.