My Inbox is Hoppin'!

There is all kinds of excitement happening here in Smalltown, VA. Well, okay, not really. There is, however, lots of excitement in my inbox!

Let's see what we've got today shall we?

LONG POST ALERT!! LONG POST ALERT!!! LONG POST ALERT!!

***Side Note - I'm not really able to say Match #1 and so on because some of the guys are from many, many blogs ago. Let's see. Perhaps I will try to refresh your memory as I go through them. There are a few new matches, so we will start with them:

Match #1
Wow. I don't think I've ever come across anyone who is any less a match for me. He states that he is looking for a "classy lady". I wonder why? From his multiple pictures I can confirm that he isn't very classy. That's fine. Just wondering why he wants a classy lady? Chances are she's not going to be looking for him. He drives a 911. Perhaps he thinks that makes him classy? Anyway, I'm not going to wink back because he is 50 years old, and lives 3 hours away...among other reasons.


Match #2
Although this guy looks like he's probably pretty nice, I find it interesting that 1/2 of his profile pictures are of parrots. After reading further I find that he has 10. He loves them. They are his family. This is actually the second match I've had on Match.com who loved his parrots very much. Here's the thing. I can't stand birds. I don't like them outside of my window tweeting and waking me up in the morning. I don't like them pooping on my car. AND...I really don't like them inside. My mother has this Love Bird called Katie Scarlet. She seriously treats this bird like her child. She talks to it always, and when I am visiting I have to do things that will make Katie Scarlet happy. If I upset Katie Scarlet in any way, then I am at fault. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! It's a bird! A silly bird that whistles at itself in the mirror because it thinks there is another bird there. It's flirting with itself because it's too dumb to realize that it's look at itself.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant about the whole bird issue....but dating someone with 10 parrots isn't really going to work for me. There is no chance that he is getting rid of these parrots, because he says "Since I love my birds, I hope the lady I meet, loves tropical birds..." Not me buddy. Sorry. You actually have a whole lot going for you. I just can't tolerate the birds. Sorry.

Match #3
Oh my word. This is good. I mean REALLY good. I laughed out loud. You will too. Here's the thing. This guy looks totally normal, and so I start clicking and reading and then I had to take off my glasses to get close to the computer screen to see if I was really reading what I thought I was reading. I was. I'm not sure if he's trying to be funny, or if he is trying to be serious and it's funny. What do you think?

"i'm what you call a bapticostal." - he says he's part Baptist/part Pentecostal. That kindove reminds me of one of the dogs we had when I was growing up. She was a 1/2 Pekingese and 1/2 Chihuahua. We called her a Pekawawa. That made sense to us because she was genetically 1/2 of each. How is one: 1/2 Baptist and 1/2 Pentecostal? Would you not just be a Pentecostal Baptist? I'm Episcopalian. However, I was Catholic. I wonder if that makes me a Cathopalian? I've always just gone with "Catholic Light". That seems to work.

My new friend tells me that his favorite colors are black & red. Also, his favorite thing to do is "sit around and play video games". Awww...I suck at video games :( He then says "well first off i'm a great and awesome guy to be around. i'm also a christian. i attend services twice a week , so i'm a pretty funny guy." I don't get it? Does going to church make you funny? I never feel very funny after church. Cleansed and uplifted perhaps, but not so much funny.

And finally...the last thing he read was a Best Buy ad.

I think we know where this is going......

Match #4
Well, I've now hit an all time low my friends. Actually, I guess it's an all time high. I've been winked at by a 60 year old man. He looks really precious....in that grandfather-type way that makes you want him to buy you a double scoop of ice cream. Not so much take you to dinner and try to date you.

I'm not going to say anything more about him. I don't think I need to. Do I?

I feel as if perhaps I should have called this post "Batter, Batter, Batter....Saaaaaaawing Batter", because I sure did strike out on this round. Never fear! I have some other matches to talk about. I've saved my previous communications' responses until last.


New Post!


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