Seriously? I mean......Seriously?

I just checked my daily 5 on Match.com. Whoa. There are no words to describe what I found. This, from one of my matches:

"i am divorced, i am tired of all those women out there that think they are gods gift to men. i like eating at applebees,red lobster, going out to a bar ever now and then. always wanted to go to aruba. or australia"

Seriously? Someone please shoot me if this is what is out there for this single girl. Scratch that...don't shoot me. Shoot him.

T

Sorry, sorry...

...I've been a bit negligent about writing lately. Not that there isn't some fabulous stuff to update you on, but I've been a bit distracted. I have been sick, of course, but I also found this blog that I love. I mean L-O-V-E!

Of course I had to go all the way back to the beginning to get to know ms. mindless, and I'm only now to January 2009. So, all of my "free time" at work (wink, wink) has been filled up reading her blog, rather than blogging on my blog. Tisk. Tisk. I've now gone and gotten MK addicted to ms. mindless' blog and we both keep giggling and think she is 100% fabulous. So, once I get caught up on her life, I will get right back to my life. Pinky swear :)

T

Ummm...HELLO!

Now I know why I don't go around winking at people on Match.com. Sometimes they don't wink back. Yea, yea...I hear you. Maybe he hasn't logged on since I winked at him yesterday. Well, maybe he hasn't. But...maybe he has. AND...maybe he just didn't wink back. Hmmmm....I don't like this very much.

I wish there was a kick function on Match.com.

T

Conjunction Junction.....What's Your Function?

I'm still not feeling 100%, so perhaps I'm not looking through rose colored glasses at the moment? Am I overly critical? I guess I just feel that if you are going to put yourself "out there", you might want to do it with a little punctuation. Is that asking too much? Not only is my latest match a fan of the run-on sentence, I also think he sounds a bit like an idiot? As I was reading the first sentence (SCRATCH THAT! IT'S ALL ONE SENTENCE).....the first line, I was tempted to break out in song: for so that we can = "Fa So La Ti Da".

Didn't these jokers watch School House Rock? That's where I learned all of my punctuation skills. It's really easy too. There is a song for every skill you learn. I wonder if it's still on TV? I'm thinking that if it is, they should start playing it at 6pm rather than the news. Punctuation is obviously more important that what they show at 6pm anyway!

Okay, back to Mr. Grammar....HE wants to be swept off HIS feet? HE wants to be whisked off to a foreign land? Seriously? This guy needs to invest in a good Harlequin Romance and call it a day. My guess is that passport isn't going to be getting much use anytime soon. I also have no desire to end up with Davy Crockett in the woods, so this isn't going to work anyway. Take a deep breath my friends, and read on:


"i need a woman that can love me for so that we can be together forever i like romantic things, as well as camping and having fun cuddling up to a nice movie, maybe going for a picnic or a nice drive somewhere to the beach or the mountains i would really enjoy living in the woods or having a cabin somewhere i just want to relax and take it easy and get a way from it all if its one thing in life i have learned and that is money isnt everything its always the simple ones that can take something and turn it into something beautiful although we all know money helps well if you would like to ask questions thats what i am here for i want to meet a woman that can sweep me off my feet, a lady to run away with, maybe to a foreign land i have my passport "


The good news is that I'm also matched up with a good one! MK and I believe he is a doctor. He lives about an hour away, and just moved back to the area. He's uber cute, but a little on the short side. I winked at him anyway. Oh yes I did! I winked. It was rather exhilarating, thanks for asking :) I still haven't winked at young boy from yesterday, but I might.


I'll keep you posted. hahahahah...get it? Posted! (told you i'm still sick. bare with me.)


T

"I enjoy clubbing dancing and all other exciting activities"

Hi friends. I'm still feeling rather poorly. A bit like I've got the plague I imagine. Regardless, I thought I would sign on to Match.com to see if there is anything interesting that might brighten my day.

There sure was something that made me laugh. Let me share with you the concept of the Daily 5. Match.com uses all of it's match making capabilities to send you 5 potential matches each day. This is different than the regular "wink" or "e-mail" that I am accustomed to. These people haven't indicated that they are interested in me so much as the computer has determined that we should be interested in each other. I'm guessing the computer can't read. That must be the case. Let me share with you what one of my lovely matches from today says about himself:

"I enjoy clubbing dancing and all other exciting activities looking for same I enjoy anything that gets the adrenaline pumping I am a very sexual person who enjoys alot of for play and would like some one who would enjoy coming home after a night of clubbing and enjoying hours of wild unbridaled sex of course you know this is the best exercise …

What I like to do...
I enjoy clubbing and dancing

My hot spots...
I would take her ot to a nice place to eat and then to the club for drinks and dancing"

Wow. He just put it out there didn't he? Yikes! Not to mention the spelling/grammar, but anyway......I don't think this Match.com computer has any idea what it's doing. None of my other Daily 5 matches have pictures today, and I've already shared with you my thoughts on that!

The other feature I have discovered is that you can click on a link to show you who has expressed interest in you from reading their Daily 5. There is a really cute guy who has indicated interest in me. He's really tall. CHECK. He seems quite smart. CHECK. He dresses well. CHECK. He wears glasses (did I mention I adore men who wear glasses?). CHECK. He graduated from my university. CHECK.

Okay, I'm going to stop here because obviously everything is checking out. There is one problem though......he's 7 years younger than me :( This is my curse friends. In my every day life I meet men who appear to be interested in me. The only problem is that they are super young and I just don't think we are at the same place in our lives. I dated one of these younger guys for 3 years and it didn't so much work out. I think I've become jaded when it comes to younger guys.

So, what do YOU think? Shall I give the young guy a wink?

T

Chicken Noodle Soup & OJ

Hello friends. Just thought I would take a minute to check in, and to tell you that I'm under the weather. I'm not really sure what the flu means these days. Some people have a stopped up nose and a chest cold and call it the flu. Others have an upset stomach and a fever. I've got a little bit of both and it's causing me to want to do nothing but curl up in the bed :( Hopefully I will be back to normal soon, and I've got some new prospects to fill you in on!

Until then,

T

Bruce Jenner Thinks I'm Sexy!

Let's take a look at my inbox today to see what new potential matches I might have. There appear to be 3!

****Side note....the previous potential match that works for himself and tends bar on Wednesday and Thursday nights never e-mailed me back. I decided that driving 45 minutes to meet someone while he was tending bar probably wasn't going to work for me. I told him this nicely, mind you, but apparently he didn't feel compelled to write back to set up a date on my turf. That's okay! I probably wouldn't have liked him anyway :) Mr. IMer hasn't replied to my e-mail either. Apparently he just wants to IM with me. No thanks.

Match #1

His user name appears to be his real name written four times. That's kindove weird. For example, if his name were Bob his user name would be BobBobBobBob. Hmmmm... Okay wait! I indicated that one of my turnoffs is tattoos. That's not saying someone can't have a strategically placed tattoo that remains from their college years when they got a little hammered one night and headed to a local tattoo parlor. I prefer no tattoos, but a small one will pass. This guy has like 27. He has taken individual pictures of them and posted them as various profile pics. This tells me he really has an emotional bond with his tattoos. Blech! They consist of colorful dragons, Chinese letters, koi fish and a scary monkey. Large and scary. Definitely not what I want to wake up to for the rest of my life. Goodbye Match. #1.

Match #2

I'm not really sure what to say about Match #2 without posting his picture, which I will not do because that would be unfair and rude of me. He kindove scares me. He last read the Lord of the Rings, and quite frankly he reminds me a bit of that "thing" in the Lord of the Rings that covets the ring and keeps calling it "MY PRECIOUS". Seriously. That's what he looks like. He's clothed, of course, unlike that thing....but basically there is a strong resemblance. He also adores science fiction and fantasy. I don't think so. Goodbye Match #2.

Match #3

Bruce Jenner is that you? OMG. I think Bruce Jenner is trying to leave Kris and go out with me! Not that I find Bruce Jenner attractive, but he's a pretty nice guy right? At least he seems to be on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. This guy really, really looks like him, but I'm pretty sure it isn't Bruce. He's also 5'7". Bruce is taller than 5'7". Oh goodness, let me share with you a bit of his profile:

"I want a happy and a positive family were we work together with know drama, that we can love each other know matter the circumstance that can be work through."

I'm an English major, so this sentence really makes me cringe. Let's play "how many errors can you find". Scratch that...the whole sentence is an error :( The more I look at him, the more I wonder if he isn't "touched". Awwww...bless his little heart. Goodbye Match #3.

Well, that's it folks. The prospects are not looking good at this point in time. So sad! Whatever shall I blog about? I need to go on another date ASAP or my readers are going to get bored :( Do you know of someone you would like me to go out with? If so, let me know! I'll be happy to give you a candid, but honest, review of our date!

T

I'm Just Not That Into You!

I received another text from Guitar Hero on Valentine's Day. You got me! I haven't had "the talk" with him yet. I just hate doing that. I don't know why it's so hard for me. It's not like I'm breaking up with him for heaven's sake! We've been out twice. No big deal. I would actually think that he would take the hint after my lack of response to his 3 texts. He hasn't.

Which brings me to my next point. Why is there a book/movie called He's Just Not That Into You? Why does society assume that women need a book to help them decipher when a man isn't into them? In my experience it has been the exact opposite! I can clearly take the hint when someone isn't really interested in me. Believe me, I know what that feels like. You just get over it and move on. Don't sit around biting your nails and hoping he changes. He won't. Move on. Don't stalk him. Don't call him. Don't text him. Move on. It seems pretty simple to me.

Why, then, can't Guitar Hero do this? Why is he going to force me to say it?

Thanks to those of you who have given me suggestions on how to ditch him. I have a vote for an e-mail and a vote for a text. I saw the voice of reason on Friday night, and she says I need to call him. That's one vote for each option. I guess I get to be the one to break the tie.

T

Why Don't You Have a Date?

Friday night I was invited to a Little Red Dress Party. It was a fundraiser at a friend's house, and all the girls wore red dresses. I knew quite a few of the people attending, and a group of us met for dinner before the cocktail party. I adore getting dressed up, and was really looking forward to this event. I'm a sucker for charity, and this certain charity helps kids. You got me. I'm there. Checkbook in hand :)

The cocktail party was lovely. It was a great mix of single people and couples, and I love parties like that. Some people don't seem to realize that single people and couples can co-exist and not kill each other. I'm serious. Have you ever noticed some people don't invite single people to events if there will be mainly couples there? I have. I think it's hysterical really. Unless it's going to be some sort of orgy and everyone needs to be able to pair off or something I don't see the point.

I left the party at 10 and headed home because I had yet another cocktail party on Saturday. A full weekend of festivities for this single girl! I do believe this may have been the best Valentine's Day yet for me. No pressure. No perfect gift or cute scavenger hunt to plan. I just have to put on a dress and show up. Perfect!

Saturday night a girlfriend had about 25 of us over to celebrate the holiday. The theme was pink and red, so of course I wore purple. Usually I play well with others when it comes to themed parties, but with the holidays and then the Little Red Dress party I had exhausted all possible choices for a dress! I carried a red purse and wore red heels, so I think my outfit was acceptable.

I was asked twice on Saturday night "why don't you have a date?". I really wasn't sure how to respond to this. I could delve into all of the reasons for my lack of a date, but I'm finding it's easier to just say "read my blog". Is that bitchy of me? I think it probably is. I don't care. If the asker had been through the dates I've been through I guarantee they wouldn't want a date on Valentine's either :)

T

Congratulations JLB!

Happy belated Valentine's Day!!! I hope you had a great one, because I sure did :) I mean that. I really did. The weekend started off with one of my best friends getting engaged. I adore her fiance, and was seriously ready for them to be engaged months ago. She deserves a good guy. She's been through the ringer, and the minute I met him I knew they were going to get married. I knew he was a good one. I knew she wouldn't get hurt with this guy because he is truly a good guy, and most importantly.....when he looks at her you just know he loves her with all of his heart. I jumped up and down in my office when I found out. MK (my office mate) thought I had lost my mind.

Which brings me to a question I have. Why do I always get so freaking excited when my friends get engaged? Why am I so happy for them that my stomach flips? Why don't I think "hey T, another one got a ring...and guess what...it's not you!"? It's weird really. I love weddings. I love planning engagement parties and bridal showers. I just don't really think much about my own. A friend pointed out a while ago that she doesn't really think I want to settle down and get married and all that. Maybe she's right? I can't completely disagree with her. I do know one thing. I don't want to wake up one day and be 60 and alone. However, I'm not so sure that's a good reason to get married.

T

PAT THE BRAKES!!!!!

I've just received a text message from Guitar Hero. Damn! I thought he got the point when I fled from his car and slammed the door. I was hoping I was off the hook and wouldn't have to explain that I just wasn't that in to him. Grrrrr......

The text says "Hey! How has your week been? I have been busy as hell up here."

Okay, let's take a minute to discuss the text. Does he seriously mean that he hasn't contacted me all week because he has been busy, but still thinks I am interested? That's what I'm getting from his recent communication. Perhaps if I just ignore it he will go away? I know, I know...that isn't very nice. I really shouldn't do that. I will have to tell him. Somehow. I just hate this part of the dating game. Telling people to get lost. What should I say? How should I do it?

What do YOU think?

T

Subscribe to Updates!

Does anyone have any idea what the "subscribe to updates" function does? I found it as a "gadget" and added it to my blog (look to the right) because I was under the impression that if you signed up for it you would be notified when I added a new post. Apparently that isn't the case? Is there a way to have that happen? Or, do I just not understand what I've added to my blog?

HELP!

T

Let Your GUT Be Your Guide

After the voice of reason spoke, I decided to reference my SMART Man Hunting book by Liz H. Kelly. You remember that this is what got me started, right? Liz H. Kelly says that I need to trust my gut. Only, she writes it GUT. She puts it in all caps because she really believes in it. She says that our GUT is not going to let us down.

Liz H. Kelly says that if in my GUT I don't think about kissing my date within the first hour it's a no go. Now I'm not sure this is completely true for this dater. As I told you before, I'm a little slow in the kissing booth. I like to take about 3 or 4 dates to really know someone before I kiss them. I don't know why really, but I think it's just the idea of something strange touching my mouth before I'm really sure what it is. The show Fear Factor comes to mind. You know the one where people have to eat monkey brains and such? I'm not trying to eat any monkey brains today thank you very much.

I'm going to amend Liz H. Kelly's rule to say that if at the end of the first date I don't want to vomit at the thought of kissing him then we are okay. How does that sound? I think it sounds quite smashing, considering I've yet to experience that with my Match.com dates :)

Let's go back for a minute and look at my GUT reactions to each of the dates I've been on:

1. Romeo - I suspect he could be Ted Bundy. I can't imagine kissing him.

2. Cowboy - Sleepy conversation, then catches me off guard with the ol' pinned against the car kiss attempt routine. I DO NOT want to kiss him. Ever.

3. Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III - I can't look him directly in the face :( Not much chance of him getting close enough for a kiss.

4. Father Abraham - ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..Oh! I'm sorry. Did someone say wake up and kiss him? No. I don't want to.

5. The Earl - :) Kisses would be lovely thank you. Too bad you live in Greenwich, England.

6. Guitar Hero - I would rather drink acid than kiss this person. He's okay looking....but his personality makes my skin crawl.

Well then. Of to a great start aren't we? Never fear. Liz H. Kelly has told me that my problem is that I'm not looking for "showstoppers". Showstoppers are things that people do or say that immediately cause you to say "goodbye". She says that I need to be alert to these, and that I should NEVER question my GUT when it proclaims that a showstopper has occurred. Hmmm....sounds familiar. Pretty much what the voice of reason told me. Okay. I like this.

Just one question. I've gone through 6 dates already (okay, okay...5...The Earl doesn't count) and I've yet to like any of them. I do live in Smalltown, VA after all. What if I run out of dates before my GUT give me the go ahead? Yikes!

T

The Voice of Reason

The voice of reason has finally spoken. Well, it actually e-mailed.

I've never been a dater, per se. I explained earlier that my previous relationship MO is that I simply like a guy, he likes me back and we become boyfriend/girlfriend. There really hasn't been a lot of effort involved. We never went on dates to assess our compatibility or anything. We just hung out in a group of friends for a while and decided we liked each other. This is where I'm somewhat handicapped in the dating arena. I'm pretty much scared to death. If you have been keeping up with this blog you probably already know that. You have probably noticed that I seem to question ever single move I make. Even if I don't like someone at all, I continue to go out with them. I have been trying to adhere to this 3-strike rule I've been given because I don't seem to trust myself. I've gone completely bananas.

The voice of reason read my blog and e-mailed me with her thoughts. This voice of reason is someone I like a lot, and truly respect. She has been there people. I mean really BEEN THERE. She's done what I'm doing. She's dated. She's said goodbye to men she met for the simple fact that she really wasn't feeling a connection. Some of them were good guys. Just not for her. She didn't force herself to stick to a 3-strike rule, and she says I really need to learn to trust myself. She said all of this very kindly, and even shared with me some of her experiences. It meant a lot to me. What means the most is the knowledge that she has finally found her Mr. Right. She hung in there and found him. She didn't even have to go out with him 4 times to realize they were a good match. She knew the first time she met him that she like him.

I'm going to make a promise here tonight. I'm going to promise you (and most importantly myself) that from here on out I'm going to trust my instincts. I am no longer that broken girl who ended things with Mr. Right because I wasn't ready for him yet. I know that, and I'm going to trust my knowledge of that.

Thank you voice of reason. Thank you for being the light at the end of my tunnel. Thank you for reminding me that I really can trust myself. I'm truly grateful.

T

wht do u do 4 a lvng?

In a previous post I updated you on the current matches in my Match.com inbox. I had 2 potential dates who had e-mailed me. I e-mailed both of them back. Although I haven't received return e-mails from either of them, I was IM'd today. Match #2's initial e-mail indicated that he tried to IM me, but I had already logged off that day.

I'm okay with the whole instant message thing....if I know someone. I don't, however, want to go on a first date with you via an IM conversation. My computer pings and tells me I have a Match.com IM. I click on the function that opens it, and Match #2 says "hi". Well, isn't that clever? I say "hi" back. Mind you, I've e-mailed him and told him that I don't stay logged on to Match.com while I'm at work, and therefore IMing isn't really something that is going to work for me. Sneaky devil! He's caught me while I'm logged in for a quick peek, and he's going to force me to IM with him. Ugghh!

He then says "good". Good what? Then, "wht do u do 4 a lving?". Really? Are you really going to be so lazy that you can't fully type out a question in your second communication to a person who you are interested in getting to know? I understand that on a cell phone texting can be a pain. Abbreviating is fine. I do it too. But you've got a full keyboard in front of you buddy. Use it.

I reply and ask what he does. He tells me. Then he says "i'm going to lunch". I say "okay. i'm logging off now. have a nice lunch." That's it. Nothing thought out. Nothing insightful. I'm left feeling kindove weird. I don't know why.

T

Miss Match

I just found this blog. It's interesting. The writer is apparently a matchmaker. Some of these things make me laugh. Others make me want to post an argumentative rebuttal. Not sure how much she knows, but if you have time on your hands you might want to check it out. Miss Match.

T

Mother Knows Best

My mother called last night and I took the opportunity to bring her up to date on my dating escapades. When I mentioned signing up for Match.com to her months ago she was appalled. She thought it was tacky and inappropriate. Meet my mother. Anything that she considers "coloring outside of the lines" is tacky and inappropriate.

While sharing my crazy idea with her friends, one of them says "Well, T's mom, Match.com is rather an acceptable forum to meet your mate these days. People are getting married later in life, and not everyone meets their mate in college anymore. How else are they supposed to find acceptable mates? In bars? God forbid!" That's all it took. Now my mother is on board with Match.com and wants constant updates on my progress. She is sticking to the 3-strike rule though, saying that I really need to give each date at least that much time for an accurate assessment.

Last night mother wanted an update on Guitar Hero. I had previously given her a full report on our Tuesday night date, excluding the late night texts. I'm not sure why I excluded them. I think I was afraid the "get my room ready" text might have given her a coronary. Last night I informed her that my Friday night date to the bachelor/bachelorette auction went okay. "Okay? What does okay mean?" Hmmm...how do I tell her this "Well, he was nice, if a bit overly excited about the whole thing. That was okay I guess. Then, he said Cool Beans! about 50 times which drove me nuts." Pause. She's silent. "You know T, I once knew this adult male who was addicted to Vicodin. He said Cool Beans! all the time. Hmmm....this doesn't sound good."

****Side Note...You have to understand something about my mother. She knows everyone. She knows someone (or knows of someone) who has been through anything there is to go through. She knows someone who has said/done everything there is to say/do. And....if I come across someone who says/does anything remotely resembling what the person she knows said/did then they are the same. If she saw a drug dealer wearing red shoes, and I met a priest who was wearing red shoes, the priest is a drug dealer. Don't ask me how this translates in my mother's mind, but it does. I love her. Really I do. But, one must tread lightly when sharing with her because she will draw these conclusions and there is no changing her mind.

Now that my mother was "taking my side" (even if she is assuming Guitar Hero is a Vicodin addict when I'm pretty sure he isn't) I was ready to go for the gold. "Mother, there is something else I need to tell you. He kept calling me boo." Silence. More Silence. "I don't understand T. Was he trying to scare you?" God love her. "No mother, boo is a term used in the urban community to reference one's boyfriend or girlfriend". Even more silence. "Are you saying that he called you the ghetto version of his girlfriend?" Her voice is a little shaky when she says this, so I know she is about to lose it. "Yes mother. That's what I'm saying". She takes a deep breath and replies with "Well then. He obviously doesn't respect you very much. I don't think that you need to spend one more minute with anyone who doesn't respect you, T. You deserve much better than that. And really T, what would my friends say about someone who talks like that? This just won't do." Yes! Yes! I'm off the hook. I have been given parental permission to NEVER go out with Guitar Hero again. Goodbye Guitar Hero.

Thanks mom :)

T

All of These Voices I Hear in My Mind....

My girlfriend Drinks Well With Others is posting her favorite songs. I'm going to copy her and post one of my all time faves. Once again, I think it was written for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGTDRztaCCw

T

My Inbox...

Let's log on to Match.com and see what potential dates I have in my inbox, shall we?

Match #1
There is a new potential who has winked at me. Let's go read his profile! Okay, there are a few problems here. First, no photo. Second...well...see for yourself. (ps. i'm posting all of his real information because i'm pretty sure he's cheating on his wife. if he isn't, he still deserves it.)

knighttalldark
momentarily yours
-------------------------------
30-year-old man
Smalltown, Virginia, United States
seeking women 18-35
within 50 miles of Smalltown, Virginia, United States
Relationships: Never Married
Have kids: Yes, and sometimes they live at home (1)
Want kids: Not sure
Ethnicity: Native American, White / Caucasian
Body type: Athletic and toned
Height: 5'11" (180cms)
Religion: No Answer
Smoke: No Way
Drink: No Answer

The man of your dreams with no attachments is J Godknight. I seeek mutual time shared and pleasure. Nothing long term. I will not come home to meet your parents. I will however leave you wanting more.

I think it's safe to say we will be deleting Mr. Godknight from the potential list.

Match #2
Looking for a golfing partner!!!
-----------------------------------------
Relationships: Never Married
Have kids: None
Want kids: Someday (2)
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Body type: Athletic and toned
Height: 6'3" (190cms)
Religion: Christian / Other
Smoke: No Way
Drink: Social drinker, maybe one or two

I'm just looking to see what women are out there. I like to workout and I play a variety of sports. I love to do things that get the adrenalin going. I'm the type of guy that likes to have fun date out or have a relaxing evening at the house. I'm looking for an intelligent and ambitious woman. Looks are important (that initial attraction) but they aren't everything. A plus would be a woman that works out and likes sports.

His picture is okay. You never call tell 100% from these pictures really, so I'm going to give him the okay. I don't like to work out or play sports, but that's okay. He's 32. Oh look! He's e-mailed me. Let's see what he says:

I tried IMing you and could not get you so I'm emailing you. I would like to chat and learn more about you. Maybe we can do that soon. I hope you are having a good day. Bye for now.

I don't hang out on Match.com, so the IMing function doesn't generally work for me. That's okay. I will e-mail him back to say hello. He lives a little over an hour away from me, but that's not a problem.

Match #3
I am looking for that one lady out there that wants to be treated like like a queen, but wont let it go to her head...
-----------------
Relationships: Divorced
Have kids: Yes, and sometimes they live at home (3)
Want kids: Not sure
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
Body type: About average
Height: 6'2" (187cms)
Religion: Jewish
Smoke: No Way
Drink: Social drinker, maybe one or two

Hmmm....does he really think there is only ONE woman out there that wants to be treated like a queen and won't let it go to her head? I don't think so. Also, he's Jewish. Not that I have a problem with Jewish people at all, but I don't see myself converting any time soon. Is that important to him? He has left the "religion" section blank on what he is looking for. Perhaps it doesn't matter to him? I've clearly marked myself as Christian: Episcopalian.

We have e-mailed once before. Just the regular hello and such. He's sent me another message, let's see:

No worries. How was the ball? I have a friend that went. It was a warm weekend. The hike was fun. I always end up going to fast when I am by myself. This coming weekend is my weekend with my kids. I am free next weekend though if you end up with any free time then. If you ever get a wed or thu night free, I bartend at a little restaurant in SuperSmalltown, VA. The food is good, and the people are cool when it is busy. I hope that your week is going well! ttyl

Okay, so I can drive an hour to see him at his bar tending job. Looks like that is the option he is presenting me with. Am I reading this correctly? He's self employed, so perhaps he just likes the bar tending gig twice a week because it's fun? I'm not sure about this one. What is this "ttyl" thing? Does it mean "Talk To You Later"? I know he has 3 children (uggh!), so perhaps he's picked up this text messaging lingo from them? It's bound to happen. We won't judge him too harshly.

I'm not sure about this. I could always grab my fabulous single girlfriend Daisy and drive down for a drink. I'm sure she would sign up to be my partner in crime! But, do I want to? Is Match #3 a potential for this girl?

What do YOU think?

T

Chickpeas do not exist. Therefore, the answer is false!

Last night a friend of mine invited a few of us over for Indian food and game night. I went to her house in comfy pants, a sweatshirt and my Uggs. There were 6 of us...3 girls, 3 guys. I knew everyone and was completely comfortable. We hooked the computer up to her TV and watched silly YouTube videos while eating. Then we played Cranium. I had to act out a Chick Magnet. I looked like an idiot, but I didn't care. I actually laughed until I cried. I love my friends :) They called me Boo all night, and we tried to come up with sayings like "Cool Beans!" that we quit saying years ago because they are "so over we need a new word for over". It was a healing experience for this Match.com dater who was about ready to throw the towel in. I needed that.


The best part of the night took place while playing Cranium (guys vs. girls). The guys were given a question about falafuls. Something about their main ingredient being chickpeas. One of the guys (while sipping a glass of very nice red wine and looking oh so intellectual) states "Chickpeas do not exist. Therefore, the answer is false." Silence. Was he serious? Did he really not think chickpeas existed? We stared at him. He was serious. Completely. We all burst out laughing, and one of the other guys said "we suck at this game and are never going to win". It was priceless.


I realized something very important last night. I do want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I really do. But, if I don't....I will be okay. My friends will always be there to laugh with me, and I will always have a place to sleep if I run out of oil for the furnace again:)


P.S. TWW...chickpeas really do exist :)

T

Side Note:

You may have noticed that I haven't said "Goodbye Guitar Hero" yet. There is a good reason for this. About 5 years ago I had just ended one relationship and met a guy. We'll call him Mr. Right. Mr. Right was 6'4", blonde hair, blue eyes, slim, alum of my university, great smile, great sense of humor, great family, successful architect, my age, etc. He was just plain Mr. Right. He was smitten with me. I ditched him.

I had just come out of a relationship and had found out a few months before that my father was terminally ill. My father was my world, and I think I was just a mess at the time. I wasn't thinking clearly. I didn't realize this, of course, but looking back that is all that makes sense.

I ended things with Mr. Right by ceasing to take his phone calls and not returning his e-mails. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I didn't even break up with him on a post-it. I didn't do it at all. I was a coward. I think the reason I couldn't bring myself to end it to his face is because I didn't have a clue why I was ending it. I did, however, supply my friends with the following reasons:

1. He played the tuba in the band in high school

2. The circumference of the ankle of his pants (too small, hadn't he heard of bootcut?)

3. He wore "tight bike pants" when riding his mountain bike

Yep. That's it folks. I was an idiot. I was struggling to come up with reasons, and those reasons didn't even make any sense. I have lived with this for 5 years. My mother reminds me of this. My friends remind me of this. I remind myself of this.

About 2 years ago I tried to find Mr. Right. I went so far as to call his architectural firm asking to speak with him. (I know, I know...borderline stalker, but I had to do something!). Turns out he has disappeared. There was a Mr. Right sighting at a football game of our alma mater, but nothing came of that. I think of him often. I'm terrified that if I ditch someone else who is nice, regardless of their oddities, this will happen again.

T

"Dat's my boo your messin' wit!"

On the drive to IHOP I tell Guitar Hero I'm sorry for getting so tipsy. He replied with "No worries, Boo, I'm having a great time!". STOP IT RIGHT THERE! Did he just call me Boo? Oh yes, he did. He calls me this 3 more times before we arrive at IHOP. That's it. I can't do this anymore. Boo? What is that? That's like what rap guys call their girlfriends in videos, right? Usher sang a song about his "boo":

I decided to go to the Urban Dictionary to decipher this "boo" he keeps calling me. Get ready people. It's bad.

1. my boo - Your boyfriend/girlfriend. "Dat's my boo your messin' wit!"

Let me state at this point that I have NEVER been anyone's boo. I may have been their girlfriend, but I will not EVER be called someone's boo. Not even as a joke. How tacky. AND...that he feels like he can call me anything resembling a girlfriend after 2 dates? Eeeeewwwww I want to vomit. (really, I did want to vomit. remember I've had 8 Flirtinis!)


After two bites of my ham & cheese omelet at IHOP I am ready to leave. I'm not apologetic in the least. I just say "I want to go now". We go. He drops me off and I run for the door. I shout over my shoulder "thanks so much, drive safely". I lock the door. I want to scream. Instead I jump in the bed, pull the covers over my head and pray this was all a very bad dream.

I never want to hear the word "boo" again unless it's Halloween.

T

Cool Beans!

Guitar Hero shows up Friday night right on time. Problem is...I'm having an outfit crisis. You know, one of those nights where you have all of your clothes laid out (dress, tights, boots) and you know it's going to be a great outfit...but you've never actually tried it on together. Well, I looked like a street walker and had to start from scratch. Ughh! I put together a totally boring outfit that made me look like I should be teaching 10th grade algebra and was making the final touches when he pulled into my driveway. I proclaimed "outfit criss...I'll be ready in a few!". "Cool Beans!" he replies.

****Side note...he has said cool beans about 50 times since I met him. I think the last time I said cool beans I was in the 8th grade. As an adult I have now replaced that saying with;

1. Excellent
2. Sounds good
3. Okay
4. Yay! (if I'm really excited)

I'm trying here people, so I just go with it and don't say anything. I do have to admit that every time he says it I cringe, but if this moves forward I will just have to tell him to stop saying that. It's not the end of the world..
******end side note.

When I come downstairs he is wearing dark jeans, loafers, plaid oxford, camel hair coat. CHECK. He's has gotten a beer from the fridge and is sitting at the kitchen table. CHECK. He says I look great and he likes my shoes. CHECK. So far so good.

We arrive at the bachelor/bachelorette auction and there are a bunch of my friends hovering around the entrance where you buy bidding paddles and such. Introductions Round 1. No no one cringes. He's friendly. This is going to be an okay night.

We enter the event and immediately I see one of my favorite couples. They actually met on Match.com too and just got engaged, so I'm thinking this is a good sign! Introductions Round 2 and male part of couple and Guitar Hero strike up a great conversation. In the meantime I'm in "my crowd" so everyone is coming up saying "hi T! let's take pictures. who is this guy? introduce me?". We go through all the intros and all is still going well. A guy friend of mine says "want a drink? and hands me his Flirtini". I'm feeling pretty okay.

I'm taking pictures for the event so that we can put them on our fundraising website. I'm all over the place. Guitar Hero has been warned about this, and is perfectly happy to watch my purse and cocktail while I flit around the event taking pictures. I get some feedback from friends along the way saying he's nice, probably not the guy for me, but they don't think he's terrible or anything.

Fast forward to the end of the night...I've proceeded to consume 8 Flirtinis. Not at all my norm and I'm way tipsy. We all decide to move to the next bar. I last about 5 minutes and Guitar Hero and I decide we are famished. He suggests IHOP for late night dining. (Remember we are in Smalltown, VA...no cute all night diners to be found. IHOP is completely acceptable in this situation.)

T

Question....

One of my best girlfriends does a little blogging herself. I just read a post of hers and it made me realize two things:

1. I am not alone on my quest to find Mr. Right
2. I am not the only girl with a lot going for her that keeps failing at relationships

My girlfriend, Drinks Well With Others, is beautiful. Inside and outside. Guys love her. They want to meet her, dance with her, date her. So, what's the problem? She doesn't like them. No, no...she doesn't like women, she just doesn't like any of the men that like her.

Drinks Well With Others, like me, tends to find the men who are perfect for us when we are out of town. We click with these men immediately! We can't get enough of them!

Here's the question....are we setting ourselves up? If the same exact guy lived in Smalltown, VA would we like him just as much? Or...is it possible that we allow ourselves to fall for these guys because we already know there is no possible way it will work? Thoughts?

T

Comments Welcome

So apparently I'm not the smartest blogger in town. I had something checked that made it a pain in the a$$ to comment. I've un-checked it :)

T

I Am in Love. Do You Know Him?

http://comedians.comedycentral.com/daniel-tosh/videos/daniel-tosh---cargo-pant-day

T

8 Hours!

I have just received a text message from Guitar Hero. It simply says "8 hours!". What is that? Is he really counting down the hours until he sees me tonight? That can't be it. Can it?

I think it's really sweet when you are in a serious relationship and you are away from each other for a long time and get excited to see each other again. An "8 hours!" text might be appropriate to send while you are in the car thinking "I haven't seen my beloved in weeks and I get to hold him/her in my arms again in 8 hours. Yay". It is, however, not at all appropriate when you went out with someone on a first date 3 days ago.

Pray for me tonight friends.

T

Guys: 10 First-Date Fumbles

I was just getting ready to log off when I found this on msn.com. As I live a breathe! Someone finally took the time to put this down on paper:

Guys: 10 First-Date Fumbles
Want to increase your chances of getting to date #2? Don't make the mistakes THESE guys did…

Last month my friend Paul met an interesting woman, asked her to dinner, and thought it went superbly — until she turned him down for a second date. He couldn't understand it: Hadn't she been charmed by his "funny" stories about his ex? Uh-oh, I thought. He was Annoying First Date Guy, but didn't know it. It happens at coffee houses, bars and restaurants every day: A guy with good intentions blows that crucial first date and has no idea why. Want to get clued in? Here are 10 common pitfalls:

1. Going on a rant about a former significant other. No good can come from talking about an ex-girlfriend on a first date. Saying something positive about an ex is threatening, and saying something negative is just plain annoying. My friend Leslie agrees: "My favorite annoying first date is the guy who spent the entire time describing in detail how nasty his ex was," she said. "By the end of the date, he had pointed out the restaurant where she threw a drink at him and the street corner where she screamed at him about his lack of sexual prowess." The first date is about the two of you getting to know each other. Bringing the ex into the conversation makes it seem like three's a crowd.

2. Divulging too much personal information that's not flattering. Take a hint from comedian Chris Rock, whose dating advice goes something like this: When you first meet someone, you're not you. You're the ambassador of you. In other words, this is not the time for full disclosure. I went on a first date with a guy who told me that he takes antidepressants, that he tends to be a slob, and that his family doesn't get along. "I'd really like to see you again," he said, "but I think I should be upfront about who I am from the beginning." Even worse are guys who reveal unflattering personal information without even realizing that the information isn't flattering. "My dog is my life," a guy told my friend Sherene on their first date. "I've had the dog since I was a kid," he added shamelessly. "I live with my parents." The information was bad, but the fact that he had no idea it was bad made it horrifying. Remember: This is a date, not a therapy session.

3. Making the date feel like a job interview. Let's face it: A first date is a job interview (for the position of significant other). But if a woman is going to put on a cute outfit and blow-dry her hair for you, try not to make her feel like she's in the room with the head of human resources. She'd rather have a casual conversation than be subjected to obvious probes like, "How long has it been since your last relationship?" Just as bad are guys who try to suss out key information by dropping calculating questions into the conversation. My friend Sara found it particularly irritating when a guy tried to figure out her age by asking her opinion of the 1972 Olympics and then saying, "Oh, but you couldn't possibly remember that" in a questioning tone.

4. Having too much attitude.Laurie, a single woman in New York, was asked on a first date what TV shows she watches. When her date learned that she didn't like the show Seinfeld, he didn't believe her. Then he wouldn't let it go for the entire meal. "He just couldn't fathom my not liking that show," Laurie explained. "It was as if I'd just said, 'Yes, I live my life without consuming any liquids.'" Guys, if you want a second dinner, don't spend the first one trying to convince your date that she's not normal.

5. Admiring other women.Most guys know better than to stare at other women while on a first date. But it's just as exasperating if your date asks you what you thought of the latest blockbuster hit, and your response is to go on a tear about how beautiful Angelina Jolie's lips are. If you think the woman sitting across from you is ever going to be secure enough to kiss you after that, think again.

6. Complaining about the venue.Don't ask your date to "pick any place you want to go," only to whine about it once you're there. That happened to Liz, who chose a place with a lunchtime tasting menu. Not only did the guy grumble, but "he proceeded to tell me that he had had a big breakfast and wondered who could eat a three-course lunch," she said. "I told him, 'I could' and pointed to myself and then to every other diner in the restaurant."

7. Arguing with your date.It's one thing to talk about current events if there's a lull in the conversation. But it's quite another to ask your date's opinion on anything from the Middle East to the election and then get into an argument with her, no matter what she says. That happened to 29-year-old Melissa when she and her date got into it about public versus private schools. "I was annoyed that he fought me on so many things — especially on our first date," she said.

8. Eating your date's dessert.Unless you're at a Chinese restaurant, there's a reason you each have your own plate. Just because a woman might eat more slowly doesn't give you license to take a bite of a virtual stranger's meal. Or, in Liz's case, her date didn't even wait until she'd taken a bite herself. "When my dessert arrived," she said, "my date reached across the table and, with his fork, speared my gateau au chocolat. Talk about annoying."

9. Not walking her to safety at the end of the date.Almost as off-putting as the overzealous guy who goes in for a kiss too aggressively is the guy who leaves his date standing there on the street at night instead of walking her to the safety of her car or a cab. This irked my pal Julia. "True, we were going in two different directions — but hello? Take care of the girl first!" she said. "Stuff like that usually points to bigger problems!"

10. Saying "I'll be in touch" after the date goes badly.Your date knows that the evening went badly, and you know she knows it, so why say that you'll call when it's obvious you won't? "I'd like him to say, 'Good to meet you, take care,'" said Monica, who feels that you can still be nice without being annoying (or making a woman sit by the phone). My friend, Paul, by the way, heeded this advice on a recent date. No rants about his ex-girlfriend, no "I'll be in touch" at the end of a lackluster dinner. Of course, this was a complete turn-on to his date, who thought he was a great catch and has since set him up with a friend of hers. He promises to save his "funny" stories for, oh, at least their second date.

Lori Gottlieb is the author of Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self. Her most recent book is I Love You, Nice To Meet You. For the female perspective, read Ladies: Worst First-Date Moves.

Did she cover everything? Leave out something terrible that you have experienced? Let me know:)

T

Finally Caught Up!

Yay, this is exciting! We are on "real time" now :) I just went back and read this blog and have come to the conclusion that I come across as a whiny bitch. Here's the thing...I'm really not. This whole online dating thing is rough on a girl, and I've just got to vent a bit. I don't keep a journal (unless I'm traveling), so this is serving as my dating journal.

For those of you that know me well you know what I'm talking about. I'm not saying I can't be catty and snippy sometimes, but I NEVER want to hurt someones feelings. When that has ever happened I swear I think I'm more upset than they are. This is how I see myself:

1. A good listener who tries her best to give sound advice
2. A mediator when friends or family are arguing
3. Someone that my friends and family can ALWAYS depend on to support them
4. A person who cannot stand it when people she loves aren't getting along
5. Someone that WILL NOT TOLERATE betrayal because she gives far too much to deserve that

All in all I think I'm pretty okay. I know that people reading this that don't know me so well (I hear this blog has been passed around to some of those people) might not agree, but you don't know me. Really. I'm a nice and caring person who has put herself out there to hopefully find someone to spend the rest of her life with. It's terrifying and funny and sad and irritating sometimes, but I truly believe HE IS WORTH IT. (when I get around to finding him, that is :)

The purpose of this blog is to keep my good friends updated and to keep myself from crying. Because really, with what you have read wouldn't you want to cry? No worries though! I am an eternal optimist and I WILL NOT GIVE UP HOPE!

T

Do I Like Failed Relationships?

I am obsessed with this song. I know, I know...it's old. It's played out. But I seriously believe it's about me. Not so much the world revolving around me (although I'm sure others might disagree), but the relationship part. I wonder if when she's singing "I like failed relationships" she is thinking about me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=129pN3dobGM&feature=related

"Guitar Hero Unleashes His Inner Rock Legend"

WARNING! SUPER LONG POST AHEAD. BLECH. I KNOW. SORRY!

Finally! Guitar Hero and I make a date that works for both of us. How exciting:) There's some background here that I need to fill you in on, so sit back and get comfy because it's apparently a very small world.

About 2.5 years ago a good friend of mine was on Match.com. She was coming up from Richmond and stopped off in Smaller than my Smalltown, VA to have a drink with a guy she met online. She thought he was super nice, so she brought him the rest of the way to my house to go to the Tech game. It was supposed to be a girl's weekend, so I was a little irritated. They didn't really hit it off for a long term thing and quit communicating. No biggie. He did, however, spend the night in the spare bedroom at my house with us (this is relevant later!).

Flash forward 2.5 years....Guitar Hero and I connect. I'm telling my good friend about him and she says "OMG! You know who that is!". Sure enough, the more I tell her the more it matches up. My good friend is convinced that I should go out with him because she thinks he's really nice, and quite attractive. The problems are:

1. I was completely rude to him when I met him before. (at one point I said "could you please just stop talking?")

2. If I couldn't stand him then, am I going to be able to stand him now?

3. Is it weird to go out with someone your friend has gone out with? Even though nothing ever happened with them. Still....

I've got to say something to him, right? So, I e-mail him and he's completely aware of who I am. Okay, he must not remember me despising him. I'm going to meet him for a drink.

****Side note - the main reason this blog started is because of an e-mail I sent yesterday to my girlfriends who wanted to know how my date with Guitar Hero went. I sent them the following;

Well, he is nice and funny. We met at XXXXXX and stayed there until 9. Everyone left and I got the feeling they wanted to close, so we decided to head to XXXXXX. There were zero cars in the lot, so we headed on to my house for a few drinks. I thought he would be needing to leave soon b/c he had the drive back to Smaller than my Smalltown, VA. WRONG!

When we get to my house he pulls a guitar out of the back seat and heads to the door. (Yes, I did say he pulled out a guitar). We go inside, I make us each a drink and he proceeds to start playing the guitar. Not really my thing, so I said "hey, let's play name that tune" thinking it would be a bit more exciting. It was fun for a while. Then we talked about other stuff.

I don't know. I don't like the way he dresses, and he sure does talk a lot. I mean A LOT! He didn't ask a single question about me :( Anyway, he's coming in for (a bachelor and bachelorette auction for a local charity...great fun!) because I'm not messing around here with these guys anymore. I'm going to expose them to my friends, get feedback and then go from there.

So, he leaves my house and texts me. He had a great time. Blah, blah, blah. THEN...he texts "I think I will even let you kiss me this weekend". Gross. Tacky. Inappropriate. Then, he texts me "Get my room ready". Is he serious? That I am going to let him stay at my house? I know he has before when (my good friend) brought him to that stupid football game, but I wasn't happy about it then and I'm not happy about it now. So, I'm going to e-mail him and tell him that I think he is nice, and he is welcome to come in for (bachelor/bachelorette auction). However, I'm going to tell him that I'm a bit old-fashioned and I don't really think it's appropriate for him to stay at my house. I realize he has a 1.5 hour drive home, and if that is a problem then perhaps we can get together another time. I am not having a stranger stay in my house!!!! Too much, too soon. What is wrong with these guys I keep going out with. Or.....is something wrong with me?

So there it is folks. I'm taking him to an event. Yes, even after all of that creepy stuff. I did e-mail him and tell him my thoughts. He replied with the following:

T!!! No problem!!! I am still planning on 7:30 at your house, right? We can go, have a blast, and then if I am too tired to go home, I will grab a room. If not, I will drive back. It's that simple! I know you are secretly wanting me to stay there and are just using this as a cover, but the answer is NO!!! I am not staying there for quite a while I am afraid and you will have to get used to it!!! Sometimes, I just kill myself. Going to play tennis, call you after!!! Guitar Hero

He's a weirdo, right? Now he's going to call me tonight and I don't even want to talk to him. Was he trying to be funny with his response? That he assumes there we will continue to see each other for "a while" and there will be time for sleepovers later? Can't he even fathom that I won't like him? Isn't that possible? Icky! I don't like it. Why then can't I just tell him I've changed my mind and I'm not interested? I'll tell you why, because everyone has convinced me that I'm too judgemental and I need to give people a chance. Really? Do you think so? Ughh!

If tomorrow night is a bust I'm ditching the 3-strike theory and settling on 1-strike. Seriously.

T

MIND THE GAP!

I have this wonderful trip to London planned. I'm leaving on January 5th and returning on January 14th. Good times! I'm going to visit my girlfriend Kat who lives there now. She's moved there recently, and the moment she did I scheduled my trip.

Father Abraham knows about the trip, and he says we will most definitely get together when I return. I say okay. In the mean time, however, I've met someone new on Match.com. He's called Guitar Hero and you really can't wait to hear about him. Really, you can't! But you will have to because FIRST...I GO TO LONDON!!!!

London is great. That's a different story for a different blog, but it does become relevant when I meet THE EARL. Kat and I are on a day trip to Greenwich when we come across him. Well, actually he comes across us...but that's irrelevant. He's not particularly attractive. He's not dressed "smartly" per se, but somehow it works for him. I'm captivated. He has a British accent, but not the harsh kind of accent you hear in Oliver Twist or whatever. It's melodic. He's funny, and sarcastic and a bit of an ass and I think he's fabulous. Kat says "why T, I do believe he's taken with you". (She's so proper now that she's a Londoner dontcha know!).

Anyway, I flirt shamelessly and he shows us around town and tells us about his life and a friend of his joins the tour and then they ask Kat and I to dinner. The Earl proposes we try Indian food. Never had it. Not so sure I will like it. AND...leave it it Kat to say "you'd better ask T because she doesn't really like weird food very much". Seriously. What could I say. "Oh yes, Indian sounds lovely! Let's do that for sure. I'd love to try it." Thanks Kat :) Turns out I do like Indian food!

After dinner no one wanted the evening to end so we went to play pool for a bit, and then we did have to leave. It was hard. I didn't want to. I wanted to listen to him talk about his life and his world and everything else forever. He asked when I was coming back to England, and I said "who knows". Alas....

The point is...I still haven't stopped thinking about the Earl. He is the type of guy I want to find. He is the type of guy I'm meant to be with. Perhaps those types of men aren't bred in America? Perhaps I need to move to England? I don't know. What I do know is that I did not think about Father Abraham one single time while I was in London. Goodbye Father Abraham.

T

Father Abraham

Never fear my friends.....I thrust my chin back up in the air, plastered a smile on my face and logged back on to Match.com! You're excited. It's okay. You can admit it :)

My next prospect is a little bit older than me (okay, he was 12 years older than me), but seems like a great match. He shall be called Father Abraham for two reasons:

1. He is significantly older than me
2. He has 3 children

Anyway, we decide to meet for a drink on a Thursday night at a local restaurant. He has just come from a play put on by his children at their school. That's nice. I like a man who is sure to attend his children's plays :)

We talk for a few hours and he seems nice. Nothing really jumps out as "wonderful", but he's successful, okay attractive, kind. Sounds good to me! He has his children over the weekend, but we decide to get together for lunch the next week.

Lunch goes well. Again, nothing spectacular to report. But hey...nothing bad either! He introduces me to a restaurant I haven't been to before, which is always fun. (It also happens to be two doors down from the Mexican place where I had lunch with Romeo. Yikes!) After lunch we talked about how we would like to have drinks again sometime soon. Christmas is coming and we will both be busy, but we plan to get together right after the holidays.

Christmas comes. Christmas goes. Father Abraham calls to set up a date. We decide he will pick me up (yes people...he has made it to date 3 and I'm saying "come on over fella"! see where I live and pick me up. I'm getting brave.)

****Side note...I know a guy who works with Father Abraham and got the 411 on him. He's completely harmless, a good guy, great reputation in the community and so on. So, not letting a total stranger come over to pick me up.

Well, Father Abraham has purchased a dog for his 3 children for Christmas. It appears that said dog has injured herself over his lunch break and he now has to take her to the vet. He calls and pushes the date back a bit. That's okay. I understand. He's got to take her to the vet. No problem. Just call me when you are free. So, he does. It's a bit late, and he wants to go to this pub down the way. He picks me up and we go.

****Side note...He shows up in jeans and an un-tucked oxford. No belt. Why this bothers me I don't know. I think it's probably because I DO CARE what I look like. Always. Especially when dating someone new. I take the utmost care to assure that my outfit is flattering, coordinated, pressed. I realize many men aren't into clothes like women are, but don't they realize first impressions are key? Even 3rd impressions are key! Don't pick me up looking like you just rolled out of bed for heaven's sake!

Conversation is okay. He's kindove funny. He's kindove attractive. That's really all I can say. I'm trying here, but I can't think of one single solitary other thing to say. Nothing bad there, but quite truthfully I really don't think I would care one way or another if I ever see Father Abraham again. I suspect that isn't how one is supposed to feel when they meet their future husband and go out with him 3 times? What do YOU think?

T

Sign me up for a Jamaican Honeymoon ASAP. I'm Serious People!

The first thing I do after I've e-mailed Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III is cut/paste his e-mail and send it to all of my girlfriends. They have supported me through all of the previous disasters, so I really want to share this with them. It's late at night when I send off Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III's e-mail.

I come into the office the next day to a full inbox. All of the girls are so happy for me! I'm radiant. I have on a fabulous outfit and I'm really to meet my future husband for our first lunch :) My office-mate MK, who is also one of my best girlfriends, is so excited she can barely contain herself. She's engaged to be married, and like any good friend who has already found her man she's on the hunt to help me find mine.

Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III calls and is done with his interview around 11:00am. He's early!! I haven' t a clue what will be open. God love MK, because she is madly Googling "Smalltown, VA + downtown restaurants + open at 11:00am". She rushes into my office to tell me that a local favorite opens at 11:30. Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III and I decide that is a plan, and I will walk down from my office to meet him.

On my way out of the office MK is bouncing in her seat. She thinks she is more excited than I am. She's wrong, of course, but this gives me even more confidence that Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III is THE ONE. My girlfriends read his e-mail and saw his picture. We are all finally in agreement. I've found my man.

Walking down to meet him I'm strangely calm. I decide this is another good sign. I round the corner and there he is. He's about 4 blocks off, but I can see him. He's tall. Long black wool coat over his suit. Brown hair. Big smile. About 1 block away I slow my pace. This can't be him. What's wrong with his face? He doesn't look at all like the friendly guy in the picture. Well, the rest of him does, but not so much his face. Oh goodness. He yells out "T, is that you?". NO!!! THIS CAN'T BE HIM!! But alas, it is.

We sit down and order. He's not so much disfigured in the face or anything, there's just something that makes it hard to look at him...directly in the face anyway. What gives? He crosses his legs and I see the red socks. This is him alright. DAMN! Fooled again.

I decide to make the best of it, and he's actually just as funny and smart as he was in his e-mail. I really, really, really, really, really like his personality. Here's the problem though. I'm willing to overlook the fact that he's a bit tubby. That's usually something that turns me off, but for him...I was willing to say "I don't care!" But his face? How does one go about dating someone when they can't exactly look at them? It was bad people. B-A-D.

Lunch was over. I said I had to go. Said I had a great time. Blah, blah, blah. I walked back to the office with my head down as a single tear slid down my cheek. Well, okay, that's BS...but I was DEVASTATED. Truly. I did want to cry. I came back to work and went directly to MK's office. She said "oh no! what's wrong?" I told her. She consoled me. It was awful. I refused to log onto Match.com for a while. My heart hurt. I fell in love with an e-mail, and the man behind it was wonderful. I just couldn't stand to look at him. Life isn't fair sometimes. Goodbye Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III.

(I know this sounds a bit dramatic, but believe me...I was crushed. Keep reading though. It does get better. I promise!)

T

OMFG! I have just met my future husband.

Prospect #3 is a winner. He's going to be the father of my children (I don't really want children...but if I did...this guy would be their father!) Meet Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III. This is going to be a long blog entry. I hate those, but it's necessary.

Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III e-mails me the following:

What to say...that's always a tough one. But, I noticed you put emphasis on the fact that you are a Gemini; I'm an Aries! Does that mean we are destined or doomed? I love astrology and check my horoscope on Yahoo almost every day. It's fun but I'm a man of science, as they say, and don't truly believe in it, but it's always fun to see how people match up with me, stars-wise.

Anyway, according to Match, we are bound to succeed ... we are 97% compatible! Wow! I'm sure it's a given that we will get married at a ceremony officiated by the match.com CEO and appear on one of those cheezy ads. Or is that chemistry.com? I don't know...I only watch a bit of TV every now and again. Otherwise, I'm just your average law student - overworked, too much stress, not enough time to go out; and therefore an online dater! Well, I'm an initiate of online dating anyway - I just signed up 2 days ago and haven't gotten out on a real date yet. 2 days of sending messages to those who "spark my interest" and nothing to show for it yet except a few replies. No actual dates. I guess that's fine, as taking things too fast is never a good idea.

Hmm, what else. I'm originally from NYC, so living in the country here in the sticks of Virginia is very refreshing. I left the city because I was so sick of the hurried pace, the rude people, and the crowds. So many people think I'm crazy for leaving, but those are mostly the ones who have not lived there for a length of time. No doubt, for a newcomer it must be fun for a while but I think that, for anybody, once the novelty of it wears off it's nauseating. Sure I miss the art museums, the Opera, the flamboyantly gay guys wearing the latest fashions while walking their shi-zus (however you spell it - those tiny dogs that Paris Hilton wears), the rock and roll, and the culture of it all...but now that I've matured I really value the countryside. It's better in a way that is hard for me to describe.

Also, I hate cats. I mean, really, really, irrationally hate them. I think it's because if they were bigger than humans, they would hunt us down and eat us. So if you have cats, that's really a deal-breaker, unless you don't mind me driving them 100 miles from home and dropping them off at some 50 year old, single cat-lady's house. OK well that cat tirade was a bit tongue in cheek ... but not too much.That's about all from me, I have a final paper due tomorrow on the intersection of law and religion - it's a total BS class but I still have to do the work, put in the time, etc. Then I have 2 more papers due and 2 final exams so the next 2 weeks are going to be stressful - which means a great time to blow off some steam by going on a low-key date!

We're all adults here, so there's no point beating around the bush, a date with you would most likely be fun! We're 97% compatible after all...If you really want to push it, I'm going to be in Smalltown, VA tomorrow for an interview at a law firm there, maybe we could get lunch? if you'd prefer to take it a bit more slow, my email is XXXXXXXXXXXX. My free subscription to match.com ends tomorrow and I'm not sure if I'm going to renew it. I'm not the kind of guy who has 300 girlfriends at once, so unless I don't find anyone I'm going to cut it off. I'm a starving student, after all...OK, ciao bella! Hope to hear from you soon.
-Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III

I'm in LOVE. This is what I'm looking for. Someone who is clever, witty, honest, strong. Point blank...someone who makes me laugh so hard I cry and Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III did just that! It's 10pm when I receive this e-mail. I hurriedly reply with something witty in return telling him I'd love to meet for lunch the next day, and I give him my cell number.

His pictures are okay. He's pretty tall (6'3" I think?), a bit of extra weight (I usually date bean poles) but I don't care and most importantly he really does have a kind face. Yay for me! I've found my husband.

***Side note - Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III has a trademark. A signature item of clothing that he won't be found without. I THINK THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THAN A MAN WHO DOES THIS. It's my southern roots I suppose? Like my uncle carrying a cane with him always. You will not find the man without a cane. It's more for looks I believe, but it's always there. It's his trademark. Nathaniel Alexander Sinclair III's trademark is.......RED SOCKS! Isn't that the cutest ever? Suit, tux, khaki's and an oxford...doesn't matter. He is wearing red socks. Not like a tacky Valentine's Day red, but more of a deep royal red. Priceless!

(This blog entry is getting so long it's giving me a headache. I'm starting another one...)

T

Hold Up There Cowboy!

Prospect #2...we'll call him Cowboy. We chat online and he seems charming. We agree to meet at the Halloween party I've just told you about. Yes, I'm going to have a "double date". Two in one night. (well, technically Romeo wasn't supposed to be there but whatever)

The Cowboy arrives and I am so busy I don't even know he's there. He happens to know some friends of mine (unbeknownst to me), so he's chatting with them and one of my best girlfriends, Barbie, says "hey, there's someone here who wants to meet you!". Of course at this point I'm like "WHAT! I've got two other guys here and now there is a third!". Barbie just smirked and led me to the Cowboy. He's attractive, a bit taller than me and in full fledged cowboy attire....extra large belt buckle and all! (I love this! If you can't dress up for Halloween and act like an idiot once a year you are NOT for me)

I'm really busy, but the Cowboy and I get to talk a little bit. He's a wonderful purse and drink watcher, and I automatically trust him because Barbie has known him for years! The party is a huge success and I'm exhausted by the end of the night. The Cowboy and I decide to get together for a second "date" the next week.

The Cowboy calls, we chat, he's funny...all is going well. (he does have kids...like a few or something...AND...they live with him sometimes. not really what I'm looking for, but I'm not going to write him off) We decide to get together for dinner. I'm excited :)

The Cowboy definitely dresses 100x better than Romeo. He's a bit older, and perhaps with age comes some class. Who knows? We have a nice dinner (and in the Cowboy's defense...I was exhausted due to an incredibly stressful day...ie. this is the evening of my disastrous lunch date with Romeo. I don't suggest 2 dates in one day if possible. TOO MUCH!) and the conversation is pretty okay. He tells these really long stories that cause me to yawn, but whatever.

Dinner is over, he walks me to my car, I give him a hug, AND THEN.....he goes in for the kiss. I'm pinned up against my car and I know I must have had a look of horror on my face.

***Side note....This is a bone of contention among my friends. Is it appropriate for someone to try to kiss you on what is technically a first date? Some people like to be kissed right away. I, however, don't. I can't stand it. I don't know you yet. Where has your mouth been? Perhaps I should add this to my profile? What do YOU think?

The Cowboy and I say we will get together again soon, but we don't. I guess he realized I wasn't his type of girl. I'm very okay with that. I hate having to let people down. It's much easier when they make that decision. Goodbye Cowboy. I do wish you the best of luck in your pursuits. You really were a nice guy. I'm not holding any grudges. (If, however, I ever see Romeo again I will duck under the nearest car and hide there until he is out of range.)

T

Will You Marry Me?

Date #2 with Romeo. We meet for lunch at a little Mexican restaurant downtown. He's in a t-shirt, jeans and boots. Apparently he took the day off. I guess he took the day off from trying to impress his date also?

Romeo orders his food, pays at the counter and then looks at me. Eeeeekkkkksssssss! I guess I should tell you that I'm old fashioned. In every way. I think women should work and get paid what men do and all that, but when it comes to dating try to court me just a little bit okay? It's not asking much. We don't have to go to the Four Seasons. Just wine and dine me for a few weeks and then when we decide to be a couple I'm happy to treat you sometimes too! I will cook for you and even iron your shirt if you have trouble with that. Just let me feel like a princess for a little while. You know?

Romeo then proceeds to start talking about how his ex-wife cheated on him with their next door neighbor. She is still with him, and there is a huge neighborhood battle taking place about the whole thing. (everyone sides with him of course!) On and on and on. I wanted to slit my wrist before my enchilada even arrived.

I decided this was strike 3 for Romeo. I'd tried. Really, I had. I couldn't wait to get away! Then again, I was hungry and wanted that enchilada. So...I suffered through whatever it was that he continued to talk about. Here's the thing. I wasn't even listening. It had to be obvious. Why wouldn't he write me off? He wasn't unattractive. Couldn't he find someone else?

After lunch he INSISTS on walking me back to my office. Ugghh! The entire time saying things like this:

"Your schedule is too busy. When are WE going to spend time together?"
"Why don't you take some time off and we can take a trip?"
"Let's snuggle on the couch and watch movies one night this week?"

OMFG! IS THIS GUY FOR REAL? Yes, my friends...Romeo is for real. Over the next week or so he continues to call me and leave me voice mails getting angry that I'm not calling him back. I blocked his number. Goodbye Romeo.

T