I am heartbroken.
I just found out that one of the most amazing blog friends is gone. I knew it was something bad. It had to be something bad for her to go away, without even a peep. A huge thanks to Trish for letting us know we needed to keep praying. As Lisa once said to me:
"I am wearing out my knees for you girl. Hope lots of smiles are coming from your white box face soon!"
And I tried to return those prayers. I didn't know exactly what to ask for, but I just knew that I wanted her to be okay. And Captain John to be okay. And I prayed for that every day.
Today I found out that for all of our praying, it was still Lisa's time to go home to our Father. And I hate that. For me....not for her. Because she is in a much better place, and I know that. But I miss her. And I know so many of you will miss her too. And Captain John! God, he will miss her so very much.
I can't imagine what it will be like not to have an e-mail from her pop up in my inbox again. When I was having a pity party for myself post break-up she e-mailed me the following:
"Fake it till you make it. What a prolific set of words. Just wanted to drop by to send you a little sunshine and let you know I'm thinking of you. Don't forget to come up for air, breathe deep, you can go back down again, or maybe you might want to let the sun shine on your face for a bit. You decide, your game, your rules. Mwah! "
This was the essence of Lisa. Through her words a huge, warm hug enveloped you. She knew just what to say. She loved so very deeply. She laughed so very genuinely. She was amazing. And I so wish I had the opportunity to know her IRL. I can only imagine what a gift that would have been.
The last message I got from Lisa was this:
"I have missed you, hope there's lots of sunshine in your life. Mine is a bit messy right now, but will get better I know."
Oh Bumpkin....I have missed you too. And I will continue to miss you. So very, very much. Until we meet again.....