"Do you ever feel as if you are stuck inside the story of your own life?"
I think that my life, were it a movie, would be one that would involve a lot of crowd participation. Think about the last time you watched a slasher flick. And there was this girl (dumb, dumb girl) who is in a sketch hotel. And she hears a noise. And she goes to investigate.
But, of course, she doesn't. And she becomes the slasher's next victim. And we scream. But we are thinking "well, seriously, she pretty much deserved it didn't she? what idiot would go to check out the noise when they were completely alone in a sketch hotel?"
That would be my life. Only the people in the audience would be screaming "NO, NO, NO...DON'T DUMP HIM!!! HE IS THE BEST GUY IN THE WORLD! HE'S PERFECT FOR YOU!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???"
But I dump him. And then I regret it. And the audience says "well, seriously, you pretty much deserved it didn't you? what idiot would dump the best guy ever. hello?!?!?"
And then 30 minutes later they would be screaming "NO, NO, NO....DON'T GO OUT WITH HIM!!!! HE IS SOOOOOOO WRONG FOR YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???"
But I go out with him. And then I regret it. And the audience says "well, seriously, you pretty much deserved all that didn't you? what idiot couldn't see that he was a terrible match for you. hello?!?!?!"
And I just want to know one thing....why can't I hear the audience? Or, maybe I can. But I choose not to listen?
T
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6 comments:
This was pretty much the way I felt after N. and I broke up. No real excuses though - because for years I could hear the audience (i.e my friends and family) telling me he was the wrong guy for me and I stayed with him for reasons I can no longer comprehend.
At the end of the day, I think life is about experiences, including mistakes or accidents and we're better people from each of these experiences, even if it's hard to see the purpose of choices we've made. Interesting thought though.
I always feel like I'm in a movie...but I have never experienced an audience with it...hm I wonder what that means. Hang in there girl...go with your gut.
Meg
I'm afraid that if anyone was watching the story of my life they would have fell asleep a long time ago or got up to go to the bathroom and never came back :)
I know how you feel! I've felt the same way many times. It seems like I kind of blocked out the audience and didn't want to hear them. Now I WANT the audience to participate, that's why writing the blog has been such a great experience for me. xoxo
This is awesome...if only we could press rewind.
And send me a couple of date stories!
Girl, you're speaking my language. I can't hear the audience on most decisions. WHY?! Don't know. And I totally feel stuck in my story right now. Where on earth do I go now? Can this be a Choose Your Own Adventure? Ugh. I'll never know, my friend.
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