Wednesday, October 21, 2009


(WARNING...this post is somewhat sickeningly, nauseatingly sweet at times.  Cut me some slack, will you?  I don't like reading about how wonderful someone's boyfriend/husband/significant other is either...but he deserves this post.)

I have hypertympanic or hyperacusis hearing.  Described as 'exaggerated subjective response of loudness' by the AIT Institute. This condition is usually diagnosed in special needs children.  I was never diagnosed as special needs (that I know of anyway!), but I was diagnosed with overly sensitive hearing as a child.  Unfortunately, I still have it. 

Sometimes when I'm outside, sitting on the patio, I think I can hear the grass growing. 

Sounds nutso, right?  Well, it probably isn't the grass growing, but according to my probably is tiny insects crawling around in the grass. The normal human being can't hear it.  I can.   This doesn't really bother me, and I'm used to it by this point in my life.  However, sleeping is a different story.

I sleep with a fan on at night.  If there is the slightest knocking sound coming from the fan, one that no one else can hear, I can't sleep.  It's that bad.  Snoring is another thing I can't cope with.  Have you ever dated anyone that snored?  Even just a little bit? 

I haven't....until now. 

TEN snores.  Not terribly, mind you, but he snores.  We've gotten to the point where I can usually tap him on the shoulder and he rolls over on his side and all is well.  Unless he's a bit inebriated.  Then the tapping doesn't do much good.  Neither does shoving.  Or yelling.  Some nights I get so mad at him I go to the couch and cover my head with blankets and curse him.  Which really isn't fair when you think about it.  He can't help it :( 

I finally asked TEN to wear Breathe Right strips.  I was convinced this was the solution to his snoring.  He wouldn't hear of it.  He said they would annoy him and he wouldn't be able to sleep. 

So, I finally convinced him that he may have sleep apnea because he wakes himself up with his snoring sometimes.  I told him that I was very worried he could have a serious problem.  He is also very sleepy during the day sometimes, and takes naps.  I guess I worried him about it enough that he finally made an appointment with his doctor.  Yay! 

If the truth be told, I simply expected him to go to the doctor and be told to wear Breathe Right strips.  Seriously.  That is all I wanted. 


Poor, sweet, precious TEN.  I owe him big time.  I owe him back rubs, and steak dinners and all kinds of other lovely things.  I know this, and I will deliver.  Pinky swear!

His doctor sent him home with a contraption of wires and tubes.  He called me to tell me about it on his way home yesterday. He said he had to put tubes up his nose, strap something around his chest, clip something to his finger and so on.   He also informed me that he isn't allowed to drink alcohol an hour before bedtime.  He isn't allowed to have naps during the day. They think he has restless leg syndrome.  And on, and on, and on......OH GOD!  What had I done?

I had dinner plans with the girls last night.  TEN messaged me to say I probably didn't want to stay with him due to the wires and such he would be wound up in to monitor his sleeping.  I promptly responded that I wasn't going to abandon him now!  I was the one who suggested this doctor visit, and by golly....I was going to stand by my man :)

So, when I got finally got to TEN's last night I asked if I could see the contraption.  He proceeded to wind lines, and tubes and wires out of a bag.  He then hooked himself up.  Quelle horreur!!!!!  It was pitiful.  Just pitiful.  I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry.  I buried my head in the couch pillow and said over and over "I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I'm really, really sorry."

When I sat up he was still wearing the apparatus.  He looked me straight in the eye and said "just don't ever say I've never done anything for our relationship".  Then......he smirked.  Then he giggled.  Then I giggled.  He forgave me. 

I confessed that all I wanted was for him to wear Breathe Right strips.  He wouldn't hear of it at this point.  He was 100% invested in this his home school version of a sleep study.  He declared that he was going to wear it all night long to determine if he had some deadly condition or not.  So....TEN wore the device all night long.  Every time I woke up and looked at the back of his head (as he slept on his side because I had nudged him earlier) I cringed. 

At lunch today he told me about the questionnaire he had to fill out this morning.  He had to note things that happened during the night that may cause a jump in his heart rate, or cause his heart to stop or some such. He completed his questionnaire, and was headed back to the doctor when I left him.  He has to turn in the machine and receive his diagnosis. 

Poor, sweet, precious TEN.  I owe you.  I really, really do.  I appreciate the fact that you listened to me.  I appreciate the fact that because YOUR snoring bothers ME, you went to the doctor....and wore the apparatus.

Please know that I am scared to death, TEN.  Seriously.  Because if they send you home with a CPAP machine we are in trouble.  Those things make more noise than any snoring you have EVER done.  I just don't know what I'll do if you have to strap yourself into a CPAP machine every night.  Somehow I will manage.  Because really....I did bring this on myself didn't I?

Nervous Nelly,



mk said...


First, what a keeper! Can I have one just like him?

Second, you poor thing. Snoring drives me insane. Noise when I'm trying to sleep bothers me tremendously. I've seen had to get over that a bit as I now live in a noisy city. I can't imagine having heightened hearing and dealing with snoring.

Third, if he has sleep apnea it is probably good he gets it figured out sooner rather than later. Tell yourself it is an investment in your health because you care about him!

MCW said...

That is hysterical!!! I like how it became a little science experiment for him!

I cannot stand snoring. The last BF did, I would almost push him off the bed trying to get him to stop.

Blackeyed Susan said...

OMG fingers crossed that he is just a regular snorer! If the bf starts snoring I tilt his head back and he stops. Nothing can wake him so I don't feel bad doing it!

Jessica said...

I feel you on the snoring thing! I have dated a few snorers and, because I am a very light sleeper, it has always driven me crazy!! I have heard that those breathe right strips actually work, but wow! TEN totally went out of his way for you - what a keeper!! (That's're lucky!)

Anonymous said...

I hope everything turns out normal with the results! And to think, all you wanted were the strips...

Jenny DB said...

Oh wow. Funny story. Hopefully everything is ok!! I for one think it is bizarre how if someone is "sleeping" and snoring that you can usually get them to stop just by smacking them or saying "STOP snoring" -- that has always been so intersting to me:) Keep us updated!!!

ms. mindless said...

wow! i am sure everything will be ok. keep us updated!