PLEASE HELP!

I was just catching up on my blog reading for the day, and I found something that made my stomach turn. My friend Living Under the Big Star wrote a post that opened my eyes to something so cruel, so terrible, that I almost cried while sitting at my desk in the office. I knew it happened years ago, but I wasn't aware it was still going on.

Have you ever seen a Baby Harp Seal? They are precious. I have held one in my arms. They snuggle. Like little babies and puppies do. They are defenseless. They don't understand that people want to hurt them. They are curious little babies, and actually come up to you to see what strange new creature has entered their world. Imagine their surprise when they are clubbed to death. People are killing them, and only with our help with this senseless brutality stop. Please go HERE to send a letter expressing your support for this cause. AND...please go HERE to sign a petition. It seriously takes ONE MINUTE OF YOUR TIME.

Thank you :)

T

All's Quiet on the Western Front

Lehrer hasn't called me yet. We went out last Thursday, and it's now Tuesday. Of course, he knew I had weekend plans, but every time my phone rings I stress thinking it might be him. So far. So good.

Is it possible that he DID realize that he isn't my cup of tea? Is is possible that someone in his life told him that the whole "rubbing the hand on the face thing" was probably a "showstopper"? I sure hope so. Somehow, however, I can't allow myself to believe I'm off the hook that easily.

I know that I don't really have "relationships" with these guys, so why is it that I feel like I'm breaking up with them constantly? I stress for days, then practice what I'm going to tell them, then come up with replies to the questions that I'm pretty sure they will ask ....like "why". Afterwards I retire to the bed with a cocktail. It's rough I'm telling you! It's like I break up with someone every other day. Does anyone else experience this? Or do I just care too much?

(disclaimer - I look NOTHING like this tired little pup. I just thought he was the cutest damn thing I'd ever seen, and I can relate to his exhaustion :)

Avoiding the phone,

T

"are you miss rigth?"

I decided to check my match.com inbox, because usually that brightens my day a little bit. Even if it just gives me a good laugh or two. Today, I found it a little depressing. Today's inbox is making me question whether or not I'm being too picky again. But really.....I don't think so.

Match #1
He is almost 20 years older than me. He simply poses the following question:

"are you miss rigth?"

Dear Sir, I am not Ms. Rigth. I'm not sure what rigth means, but I'm guessing you were going for "right". Have a nice day.

Match #2
This one has obviously copied his profile and e-mailed that to me. I'm not sure where he is from....but I've not heard of it. Some excerpts from his e-mail/profile:

"I am very self sufficient in i can cook,wash clothes,clean house."

This line reminds me of a personal ad from a puppy. Haven't you seen those? Where a puppy is looking for a good home and his owner writes an ad from him. Something like "I am housebroken, love to snuggle, and will always be waiting for you by the front door when you get home". I don't know. Maybe it's just me.

"I am looking 4 my soulmate"

"I would probably take u 2 O'Charleys, as is me and my kids favortie place."

I wonder sometimes if older guys think it's clever to type like they are texting? Using the number 4, rather than spelling out for. Using the letter u, rather than spelling out you. I don't think it's clever. Not on match.com. Not in an e-mail. I think it's lazy. I also think that anyone who doesn't spell check/grammar check their profile is lazy. This is online dating. You get one chance to make a first impression. Why not do a cut/paste and run your profile through Word or something? Just a thought :)

Match #3
This guy sends a nice e-mail. However, there is one line that causes me to stop cold.

"I'm what I think could be best described as a "work in progress"

Why would someone say this? I guess we are all a work in progress. To send that to someone in an e-mail though? Hmmmm......

Match #4
Yikes! I don't think this needs an explanation.

"I like going to beach, party some times ,take my boat to the lake,go muding in 4-wheel drive trucks.and any thing that you think that would be fun.maybe we can be friends and then more ?"

Match #5
"Wow, don't you just hate to be put on the spot and have to describe yourself and risk being missunderstood?"

Or...misspelled?

Match #6
"I will fight to protect what is mine. I don't give up easily."

This makes me nervous......

Match #7
"I will listen to you but please listen to me and lets find equal ground. Pretty simple ehh."

What is this ehh you speak of?

All in all, a rather pitiful inbox for this online dater. It made me yawn. Perhaps Monday isn't the best day to try to cheer oneself up? Or, perhaps my match.com dating profile is "a work in progress"? It seems that I'm not doing a very good job of attracting the type of man that I want. Maybe a little re-vamp is in order?

Here's to Tuesday!

T

My Car is Just As Tired As I Am

Sunday was a bummer. It started out pretty okay, but that didn't last. A friend just moved. Went for a visit. Saw the new house. Visited with the kids. Blah, blah....heading home to relax for the afternoon. Maybe read a book? Stop by Walgreens to pick up some beauty products and stuff. Blah, blah.

END OF PLEASANT AFTERNOON

My car doesn't start. Stranded in the Walgreens parking lot. Booooo! I call around asking friends what their opinion is on the culprit of my immobility. It could be the battery. It could be the starter. OR...could it be that my car is just as tired of dating as I am? Perhaps my car has decided to quit, so that I have an excuse to do so? This is seriously what I'm thinking while pacing in the Walgreens parking lot. I'm over it. I'm done. I don't want to date anymore. EVER. Pity party for T was in full swing when the nicest lady strolls over and says "hi, do you need a jump?"

I tell the nice lady that I haven't a clue what I need. I'm still on my cell phone, and can't seem to get off the phone. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm nutso, but asks if I have jumper cables. I tell her I do, but I don't exactly know how to use them. She does. I'm trying to end the call with my friend who wants a play by play of the dead battery action, and I finally hang up on her. By this time the lady has my jumper cables attached to our respective cars and is telling me to start my car. I start it and she unhooks the cables and hops in her car saying "have a nice afternoon". Okay, what? I'm still standing there, holding my jumper cables, feeling like a full on idiot. Why was this so easy for her? Why don't I know how to do this? I'll tell you why. I've always had some man to do it for me. Perhaps I need to remedy that. Because seriously.....if I had a flat tire I would probably just lock myself in my car until help came. I wouldn't even know where to begin :(

I am advised to purchase a new battery at Advance Auto. I do so. While the nice man is putting the new battery in my car he proceeds to tell me I need new tires. Mine are somewhat dry rotted. WHAT?!?!? How does this happen to me? How can I not know this stuff? I always thought that video they showed you in Driver's Ed was ridiculous. You know...the one where they tell you to walk around you car, and to kick your tires, and to check to make sure your blinkers are working. Who does that? Not this girl. Apparently I need to start.

I went directly home after having the new battery installed and proceeded to take the rest of the day off. From Life. I turned my cell phone ringer off and vegged on the couch feeling sorry for myself. Do I need to keep dating so that I can find a man to help me with all of this car stuff that I apparently don't know? OR...is there a class I can take on how to take care of yourself when you are a single woman? You know, how to know your battery needs to be replaced. How to jump your car when said battery dies. How to know that your tires are dry rotted and could potentially explode in the near future. How to change a tire. Let me know, because I will sign up ASAP!

Here's hoping Monday is better than Sunday.

T

Dinner with Ronald Reagan

Saturday night was the fabulous Republican fundraiser I told you about previously. (you know, the one that Lehrer made fun of). It was raining cats and dogs, and my hair was demolished, but other than that it was a lovely evening!

I was happy to see so many young faces in attendance. I don't know if you experience this in your city, but young people seem to be less and less involved in politics in Smalltown, VA. It isn't that they don't vote, or that they don't get into heated debates at the bar. It's that they don't DO anything. They aren't INVOLVED in helping to make their party a success. This is a problem on both sides of the fence in Smalltown, VA, and it really irritates me. Young people are tomorrow's old people. If we don't get involved, who will there be to represent our parties 20 years from now? We are the people that will be expected to run for office in a few years, if not NOW. Do your friends even know who their local candidates are? I know that most of my friends don't.

I had the pleasure of sitting next to a young man who is running for office. Both he and his wife are amazing, and I can't wait to support him come voting day. However, I really should have asked what I could do to help today. I think I will do that. Because really....if I like him, and want him to win, shouldn't I let other people know? Every vote counts.

There was another young man from Smalltown, VA at the fundraiser who is also running for a local office. I know his campaign manager, and think I will reach out to him as well. Sitting around complaining about people not being involved doesn't really accomplish much. Perhaps if I sign up others will follow? I have a sterling silver bracelet with the words "Be The Change You Wish To See In the World - Mahatma Gandhi" engraved on it. My mother gave it to me because she knows how much I believe in these words. I know that helping to support my local politicians might not change the world. But hey, it's a good start!

After the fundraiser was over, most of the younger attendees gathered for cocktails. I ended up playing pool, which I'm usually terrible at, and was a shark! I met quite a few new people, and ran into the mutual friend of Crush and I. He apologized for not texting me back with info, but explained that it would have been an awfully long text. We gossiped about Crush for a bit, and I really hope I get to re-meet him soon. Odds are that he won't be in Smalltown, VA for the long haul...but I still want to get to know him better.

All in all a successful evening. I headed home with many things on my mind. Most importantly, I want to start DOING more to support the things I believe in. If I don't.......can I honestly expect anyone else to?

T

FRIDAY - NO MEN ALLOWED!

Friday night...wow. I definitely had 1 too many martinis. I deserved them, but didn't so much enjoy the headache that greeted me when I awoke Saturday morning :(

A bunch of my girlfriends flocked to the great happy hour that Efficient With Glasses found for us downtown. $2 martinis, $2 glasses of wine....are you serious? It was great! Well, mostly great. I had invited some of our guy friends to join us, but told them they wouldn't get the great happy hour specials. They were okay with that. Thinking, of course, that they could pay full price and still socialize with us. WRONG. The particular bar where this fabulous happy hour was taking place has two floors. The great drink specials were upstairs, and there was a "guard" at the bottom of the stairs assuring that NO MEN passed through. WHAT?!?!? You got it. The guys had to stay downstairs. I felt terrible, as I had spread the word that this was 'the place to be'. Thank goodness the guys forgave me :)

I was most excited to be out gossiping with my girlfriends that night though, as I have a new crush. Well, I'm not sure crush is the right word. I met him once. The next day he facebook friended me. We haven't communicated since, but I "discovered" his facebook page the other day and think I find him interesting. I texted a mutual friend of ours asking for the 411 on my new crush, but didn't hear anything back. I was a little stressed until I ran into this mutual friend Saturday night and got the low down.

More on that in Saturday's belated post!

T

"I Enjoy Studying Math on Friday Nights"

My date last night with Lehrer. Wow. Where to start? Let me begin by saying that I have called for full on happy hour with the girls tonight. It is needed. Believe me! Cheers to Efficient With Glasses, one of my girlfriends, who discovered a monumental ladies happy hour deal for us at a local bar. I am counting down the minutes, and unfortunately have a feeling that I am going to tie one on tonight. Oopsies!

I arrive at the Mexican restaurant about 15 minutes early. I had no idea where I was going, so I didn't want to get lost. I'm on the phone with my friend (and date for Saturday night's Republican fundraiser) TWW. TWW and I are making plans, and discussing the fabulosity of the evening when 7:15 arrives. You may remember TWW from a previous post about chickpeas and such found HERE. I tell TWW that I have to go, and step out into the rain. Blech! My hair isn't looking it's best, but overall I feel good about my outfit. I'm excited to see Lehrer again, and to figure out what it is about his mouth that bothers me. I'm also excited because this is the first time I have actually been looking forward to a second date with someone from match.com. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!??!!

Apparently Lehrer is running a bit late, so I sit on the bench right inside the restaurant and wait. About 5 minutes later he arrives. I stand up, smile and say hello. He wraps his arms around me in a bear hug. This would be sign #1. Remember Liz H. Kelly's advice about following your GUT, and looking for "showstoppers" I wrote about HERE? Well, my GUT was telling Lehrer to back off.

***Side Note - I'm not a touchy feely person. I've talked before about the fact that I don't like to kiss people before I've decided I really like them, and I certainly don't hold their hands or have bear hugs with them. I mean I really don't even know this character! What gives?

Lehrer and I are seated and begin talking. It's kindove awkward at first, but things get a little better. I'm realizing that I don't find him the slightest bit attractive. I'm not sure what I was thinking on Sunday. The thought of kissing him really makes me want to vom. Was it just the over exuberant bear hug that set me off? I'm contemplating this, when the REAL FUN begins. Get ready friends. This is bad. I mean B-A-D!

Lehrer takes my hand in his and starts rubbing it. Then, he leans in and attempts to rub my hand on his face. OH YES. He really did. (showstopper #2) I know that I must have had a startled look on my face, but that doesn't deter him. I snatch my hand away and explain to him that I'm not a touchy person, and that I don't like to be "physical" with people when I first meet them. Do you know what he says? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS?!?!?!?! He proceeds to tell me that I just haven't been with the right man yet. WHAT? I thought I was going to pass out. Real people don't say this. Do they? Well, apparently they do. (showstopper #3)

The night went downhill from there. Why the heck didn't I just jump up and leave? Why didn't I let a showstopper be an actual showstopper, and listen to my GUT? Good question. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer :( I continue to listen to him talk, and somehow we end up on the subject of what we do on the weekends for fun. I'm very social, and usually have a cocktail party or event to attend. I'm waiting for him to tell me that he does the same type of thing....or....that he would find that fun. Oh no. Not a chance. HE likes to "study" or "play Peanuckle". You think I'm kidding? Nope! AND...he's not even in school. So what the heck is he studying you want to know? I want to know too, so I ask. Apparently he studies math, statistics, WWII, etc. Like real studying. Things that cause you to go to the library to do research and stuff. I can't help myself here. I have to ask. It goes something like this:

T: So...ummm....WHY exactly do you study this stuff?
L: I find it interesting. I can't stand to not know something.
T: But seriously. You do this on a Friday night at home by yourself?
L (while looking like this is completely normal and he can't understand why in the world I would question it): Yes
T: Oh.
L: I'm not a geek or anything though.
T: Okay.
L: You sound like you go out and drink a lot.
T: Well. Compared to you, I guess I do.

It's bad. I don't know what else to say. I launch into some discussion about an upcoming steeplechase I am attending, and then rattle on about a polo cup I am going to. He breaks in and says that I probably need a date for those things. Don't I? I tell him that I am looking for someone who also finds these things interesting. That's kindove a necessity for Mr. Seersucker. I'm hoping this tells him that he is NEVER going to be Mr. Seersucker. Nope!

Lehrer says that he would probably go to one such thing a year. Then, he proceeds to make fun of seersucker, big hats, the Kentucky Derby. Uggggghhhh!!! Back off you idiot! These are all of the things I love, and you are making fun of them!!!!

He then says he would like to have me come to his house to watch a move. THAT NIGHT! Jesus. Someone please just put me out of my misery.

I packed up my purse and said I was tired and ready to go. He walks me to my car. He says that a friend from Germany will be in for 2 weeks, and wouldn't I bring some friends out and we could all hang out. I say "whatever. call me". I just can't bring myself to tell him to get lost at that point because I am too exhausted.

How is it that people who seem perfectly normal at first turn out to be such weirdos? Is it them? Or...is it me?

Looking forward to happy hour,

T