Tuesday, August 10, 2010

heart. broken.

I had a post planned for today.  About a giveaway.  But I don't care about my giveaway right now. 

I am heartbroken.

I just found out that one of the most amazing blog friends is gone.  I knew it was something bad.  It had to be something bad for her to go away, without even a peep.  A huge thanks to Trish for letting us know we needed to keep praying.  As Lisa once said to me:

"I am wearing out my knees for you girl. Hope lots of smiles are coming from your white box face soon!"

And I tried to return those prayers.  I didn't know exactly what to ask for, but I just knew that I wanted her to be okay.  And Captain John to be okay.  And I prayed for that every day.

Today I found out that for all of our praying, it was still Lisa's time to go home to our Father.  And I hate that.  For me....not for her.  Because she is in a much better place, and I know that.  But I miss her.  And I know so many of you will miss her too.  And Captain John!  God, he will miss her so very much. 

I can't imagine what it will be like not to have an e-mail from her pop up in my inbox again.  When I was having a pity party for myself post break-up she e-mailed me the following:

"Fake it till you make it. What a prolific set of words. Just wanted to drop by to send you a little sunshine and let you know I'm thinking of you. Don't forget to come up for air, breathe deep, you can go back down again, or maybe you might want to let the sun shine on your face for a bit. You decide, your game, your rules. Mwah! "

This was the essence of Lisa.  Through her words a huge, warm hug enveloped you.  She knew just what to say.  She loved so very deeply.  She laughed so very genuinely.  She was amazing.  And I so wish I had the opportunity to know her IRL.  I can only imagine what a gift that would have been.

The last message I got from Lisa was this:

"I have missed you, hope there's lots of sunshine in your life.  Mine is a bit messy right now, but will get better I know."
Oh Bumpkin....I have missed you too.  And I will continue to miss you.  So very, very much.  Until we meet again.....


MCW said...

OMG...I am so jealous that you have her emails. I think all of mine have been erased...I need to go back and copy all of her comments onto one document.
We will all miss her dearly...

Leslie said...

It's just so sad, and so unfair. She will be missed!

Kim Reese said...

All are in our prayers. You know she's looking down on you and saying prayers of joy.

Unknown said...

I went through and re-read all her emails to me this morning tooo... I first heard her status on Friday and ... Oh I am just so sad.
She always had just the right thing to say to make you smile. :) I will miss Lisa!!!

Dee Stephens said...

I need to go back and look at mine too.

Lauren said...

Oh my goodness, I had no idea. I love this woman!! This is a very sad day

Ann said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I didn't know her or her blog but it sounds like I missed out on a great one. My thoughts are with you and your friend.

TudorCity Girl said...

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry to hear this. This is heart breaking. Why is it always the truly good ones so young. So sorry again.

Meg said...

That was my fav line from Lisa "I've been wearing out my knees praying for you girl". She always knew what to say to make me feel better. She was an amazing woman. I am still shocked. It is so weird to feel so upset with someone I have never met before

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I am tearing up (again), reading this. I thank you for it. I posted a few emails from our Bumpkin too, in a tribute.
I'm going to join your following. Lisa was and still is so great about creating connections. You described her so perfectly.