Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Bruce Jenner Thinks I'm Sexy!

Let's take a look at my inbox today to see what new potential matches I might have. There appear to be 3!

****Side note....the previous potential match that works for himself and tends bar on Wednesday and Thursday nights never e-mailed me back. I decided that driving 45 minutes to meet someone while he was tending bar probably wasn't going to work for me. I told him this nicely, mind you, but apparently he didn't feel compelled to write back to set up a date on my turf. That's okay! I probably wouldn't have liked him anyway :) Mr. IMer hasn't replied to my e-mail either. Apparently he just wants to IM with me. No thanks.

Match #1
His user name appears to be his real name written four times. That's kindove weird. For example, if his name were Bob his user name would be BobBobBobBob. Hmmmm... Okay wait! I indicated that one of my turnoffs is tattoos. That's not saying someone can't have a strategically placed tattoo that remains from their college years when they got a little hammered one night and headed to a local tattoo parlor. I prefer no tattoos, but a small one will pass. This guy has like 27. He has taken individual pictures of them and posted them as various profile pics. This tells me he really has an emotional bond with his tattoos. Blech! They consist of colorful dragons, Chinese letters, koi fish and a scary monkey. Large and scary. Definitely not what I want to wake up to for the rest of my life. Goodbye Match. #1.

Match #2
I'm not really sure what to say about Match #2 without posting his picture, which I will not do because that would be unfair and rude of me. He kindove scares me. He last read the Lord of the Rings, and quite frankly he reminds me a bit of that "thing" in the Lord of the Rings that covets the ring and keeps calling it "MY PRECIOUS". Seriously. That's what he looks like. He's clothed, of course, unlike that thing....but basically there is a strong resemblance. He also adores science fiction and fantasy. I don't think so. Goodbye Match #2.

Match #3
Bruce Jenner is that you? OMG. I think Bruce Jenner is trying to leave Kris and go out with me! Not that I find Bruce Jenner attractive, but he's a pretty nice guy right? At least he seems to be on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. This guy really, really looks like him, but I'm pretty sure it isn't Bruce. He's also 5'7". Bruce is taller than 5'7". Oh goodness, let me share with you a bit of his profile:

"I want a happy and a positive family were we work together with know drama, that we can love each other know matter the circumstance that can be work through."

I'm an English major, so this sentence really makes me cringe. Let's play "how many errors can you find". Scratch that...the whole sentence is an error :( The more I look at him, the more I wonder if he isn't "touched". Awwww...bless his little heart. Goodbye Match #3.

Well, that's it folks. The prospects are not looking good at this point in time. So sad! Whatever shall I blog about? I need to go on another date ASAP or my readers are going to get bored :( Do you know of someone you would like me to go out with? If so, let me know! I'll be happy to give you a candid, but honest, review of our date!



Anonymous said...

What a cute blog - I certainly hope you find the Holy Grail - we'll be rooting for you! Looking forward to more funny posts about your experiences along the way!


hilarious post!!