Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Shazam!...or...My Inbox!

Hello friends! I've survived Wal-mart and have finally gotten myself settled in to update you on the latest where my dating is concerned.

***Side Note - I abhor Wal-mart. There is nothing I abhor more in all of this world. Seriously. It isn't that Wal-mart doesn't have fabulous deals, and really why would someone pay full price at Walgreens when they could buy it for 1/2 the price at Wal-mart? I'll tell you why....THE LOW RENT PEOPLE THAT SHOP AT WAL-MART ARE AWFUL :( Sorry, that may have been a bit rude. However, I have never gone to Wal-mart without being plowed over by someone who looks like they haven't showered in a week as they charge to the snackie cake isle to load up on teeth rotting snacks. Uggghh! We all want to get down the isle. Pull over and wait like you have some sense already. Sorry, but I just needed to vent.

Okay, back to my dating life AKA Match.com.

Let's have a peek at my inbox shall we?

Match #1
We shall call him GI Joe, due to his 13 years of military service.

His stats.....
The same age as me, divorced, 2 kids that sometimes live at home (eekkks), only 5'10" (booo).

He's pretty cute. I can tell he likes to work out b/c he has really big arm muscles (blech!). I guarantee he wouldn't be caught dead in seersucker, but he speaks Arabic and Japanese so we will give him points for that. Not that it would do me any good, as I wouldn't understand a word he said in either language, but it could be fun. "Sweetie, whisper sweet nothings in my ear in Arabic won't you?". Just kidding. He has a "strategically placed tattoo" which is bearable, and....he lives about 15 minutes from me.

Looks like he's "winked" at me. Shall I wink back? He's only 2 inches taller and works out waaayyyy too much for my taste, not to mention the 2 kids, but hey...I'll wink.

Okay...one wink down.

Match #2
TOM SELLECK IN THE HOUSE! Seriously. What gives with these look-a-likes here? First it was Bruce Jenner, now Tom Selleck is winking at me. Jeezzzz. The only problem is, this is Tom Selleck circa Magnum PI. I thought he had a small pet sitting in the picture with him before I realized it was his mustache. Now....I feel really bad about what I've just said because this guy seems super nice.

His stats.....
He's a fire chief. He has a masters in some sort of smart stuff that allows him to be a hazardous materials specialist and do all kinds of really fascinating things. He's 6'4", which is fabulous! He's 3 years older than me. I am not attracted to him in any way shape or form, but I feel really, really, really bad clicking the "x" on this one. Oh, he also lives 2 hours away from me. Not a HUGE deal, but......

Okay, this is what makes me think he is precious....moustache aside:

"I am not looking for one night stands or casual flings. Serious replies only please. Please respond with a photo as you have seen what I look like. If you are ready to find someone for a potential long term relationship, I would love to hear from you. Regarding children, I can go either way. I wouldn't mind having some of my own, but it is not a deal breaker. If I met the right person for me, it would be fine if she couldn't have children or didn't want any. I would welcome your children into my family if you have some."

This is just an excerpt from a rather long bio, but can we please discuss?!?!?!?

A. He, like me, wonders why people don't post their pictures! We do. They should too.
B. He's looking for a long term relationship, and isn't afraid to say it.
C. He seriously wants to find love, and wouldn't rule a girl out if she couldn't have kids. Precious!
D. He would welcome someones kids into his family. So few guys feel that way!

****Side Note - just in case you were wondering, I can have kids (well, I assume I can?!?!)...but don't have any.

Okay, I don't know what to do! I don't really think I could be attracted to him. Other than the extra large stache he's okay. Not that I'm a model or whatever, but you know.

Oh lord! He's e-mailed. Let's read it shall we?

"I just finished reading your ad and I found it to be very interesting so I decided I would respond. I'm attaching my own ad that has all of the usual information and a few pictures as well. Feel free to ask any questions you might have if you're interested.

Take care,
Tom Selleck"

Well, that was normal enough. Hysterical that he called my profile "interesting". It really isn't very interesting at all :( I think what he is trying to say is "so refreshing to read a profile from someone that doesn't sound like a complete freak show!". Ha!

Whatever shall I do?!??! Wink? E-mail? or.....click the "x". Hmmm....let's think on this one for a bit.

Okay, this blog entry is too long. NEXT!


1 comment:

Jenny DB said...

OK - found your blog through a friend's and started back in the day. Liking what I read:) I ASSUME By now you have seen www.peopleofwalmart.com but if not, you MUST check it out:) i'm sure you will appreciate!